Episode 103

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Published on:

7th Jun 2024

Understand Women Better: Embodying Consistency

Showing up consistently in a relationship is hard. We want to build trust, but we often get stuck in our heads and forget the little things that matter. These small moments of forgetfulness can lead to a lack of trust and disconnect in our relationships.

This episode offers a simple and powerful way to build trust by embodying consistency. It's about being present, intentional, and conscious throughout the day – about following through with our words and promises, and expressing our love consistently.

Small moments of forgetfulness can add up over time, causing distrust and disconnect. While these moments might not lead to a total relationship meltdown, they keep us from reaching the highest level of intimacy and trust with our partners.

Today’s episode is an invitation to make a conscious effort to follow through with our words and promises. Remember, it's about the small things. A few minutes or even seconds per day of honouring our partners goes a long way.

Mentioned in this episode:

Union – October 11th–13th
A 2½ Day Live In-person Event in San Francisco

Transcript
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Today we're going to talk about consistency.

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Why is this so important to embody as a man in a relationship with a woman?

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What really is the deeper need of the feminine underneath the desire for consistency?

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Today I'm going to give you crystal clarity around the practice and the embodiment of consistency in a relationship.

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As a man will learn how simple and powerful this is, how you can literally transform your relationship with the feminine within seconds, if you make that commitment.

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And as a woman, you are going to learn about your needs in relationship with men at a much deeper and much more profound level, allowing you to fully own your desires.

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Welcome to the Masculine and Feminine Dynamics podcast.

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My name is Loreen Krenn, and I'm a coach, author, and hypnotherapist.

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I help you to create the relationship you want.

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Let's dive in.

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Let me share this post on Instagram that was received really well by the audience.

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For a woman, it creates more trust if a man does one small action consistently, rather than one grand gesture.

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For example, him making her favorite tea every night creates infinitely more trust and connection than one grand gesture, one day of honoring her.

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The feminine does not forget days where she was taken for granted, but she also does not forget every small action done consistently.

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What this essentially means for men is that creating trust is easy.

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A few minutes or even seconds per day of honoring her in small ways go a long way.

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Now, consistency is about the small things.

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A conscious woman cares much more about the small things than one big thing or one day of showing up fully.

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So what does consistency practically really mean?

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It means the following, being consistent with our word, our promises of what we are going to do.

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For example, the woman says that she needs something or something needs done, needs to be done around the house, whatever it is.

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And she asked the man if he can take care of it, and he says, yes, I'm going to take care of it.

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And even if it might be a really small thing, when she notices that that thing was taken care of when he said he's going to take care of it, then this allows the feminine heart to relax at a deeper level.

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Now, is this really about the thing?

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Is this really about what we are doing about the action?

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No, it goes much deeper than that.

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What it really is.

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Is her at a deeper level realizing that we are present and conscious enough to follow through with our word and promises.

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And if we consistently forget what we said we're going to do, then it means that we are not fully conscious and present throughout the day.

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We're not being intentional as we go throughout the day, we are operating at least at some level from a place of unconsciousness.

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So in practical terms, the desire for consistency is a desire for presence and consciousness.

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That is the deeper, underlying desire.

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It's never about the thing itself.

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It is that yearning and desire for us men to be conscious and to be present for the day.

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And now the story that some men might have.

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Is am I being a servant who just has to be consistent all the time?

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And here is the crucial bit.

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Absolutely not.

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If a man will do something.

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like consistency from a place of wanting to please her, wanting to receive validation from the feminine, that it comes from the wrong intention and place, and it's actually not going to lead to the desired quote unquote outcome.

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Because we have to ask the deeper question, what does a man need to be free?

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He needs to be conscious and present.

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If he's unconscious, he can't be free.

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So her desire for consciousness and presence is the same thing a man needs in order to grow into his highest power, to live his truth, to embody his healthy masculine core.

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So her deepen need and desire aligns perfectly.

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This is not about pleasing the feminine.

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This is about truly stepping into your highest freedom as a man, and this is what the sacred feminine offers if you open your heart to this path of union and masculine and feminine polarity.

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What else does consistency mean?

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It doesn't just mean being consistent with our word and promises.

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It also means being consistent with expressing our love in the relationship.

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I've done an episode about this called Why Men Take Women for Granted.

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Consistency of expressing love, of expressing commitment, of expressing devotion, these are very important things.

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The consistency ultimately of showing up.

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in the relationship, showing up to meet her needs, showing up to make her feel safe, to make her feel honored, to make her feel cherished.

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And of course, this goes vice versa.

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This is not just something a man needs to do.

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This is not about performance.

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When I work with a man one-on-one or in a group, and I hear that.

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Oh, I'm doing this for her, I always say, let me pause you for a moment.

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If you continue like this, you're going to suffer.

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It's not going to work.

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' Cause as I mentioned before, the core intention is this place that's going to then create resentment.

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Oh, I'm doing this all for you.

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Bullshit.

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As a man, you should be doing this for and foremost for yourself, for your own growth, because you made the internal choice to be the most conscious man that you can be.

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And this is an expression of that.

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And when you make that choice, then it comes from a deeper place.

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That it's fueled by something infinitely more powerful.

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What does consistency signal to the feminine heart?

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It signals this man can consistently meet my deepest needs, and that makes me feel safe.

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That makes me allowed to really soften my heart around him, to trust him deeply, to lean onto him in a healthy way.

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I'm not speaking about codependence here, but leaning onto the masculine in a healthy way, allowing yourself to melt in his presence, so to speak.

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This practice of consistency is extremely simple.

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It could not be simpler.

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Being consistent with something takes seconds.

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This is not even a time investment, but it is an energetic investment.

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And that is to really focus on can I stay present, can I stay intentional and can I stay conscious throughout the day?

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Because as we stay conscious, intentional, and present throughout the day, as men, we naturally show up consistently in the relationship with expressing our love, with following through of our words and promises, with making our woman feel safe.

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I've talked about this many times before.

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It is so easy for us men to get stuck in our heads.

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We forget about all these things, and then later on the consequences that at some point she no longer fully trusts us.

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At some point, there is some disconnect, some distrust.

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And even though it might only slightly be there, depending on what's going on, that's not gonna allow you both to go to the highest level in a relationship.

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And can you see how her deeper needs, always the deeper needs of the awakened feminine are always in alignment with our growth as men, with our deepest nature, right?

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Because our deepest nature is to become fully conscious and to no longer operate from a place of unconsciousness.

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How extraordinary is that?

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This is why I'm so passionate about this.

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It is all in alignment with the highest spiritual path.

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Now, let's get more practical.

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A conscious woman will communicate mostly in an indirect and subtle way when her intuition senses that you are no longer consistently showing up in the relationship or even in a specific area of your life as well.

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The awakened feminine is not selfishly desiring I need you to be consistent, to trust you.

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She also wants us to be consistent with showing up for ourselves, right?

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Taking care of ourselves, ensuring we are in our power.

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There is this deeper, deeper desire for our fullest expansion, which is part of this.

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So a conscious woman will then communicate this in a very indirect and subtle way, as is the nature, the, the mystical expression of the feminine.

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To give you example, she might say, I noticed you no longer dot, dot, dot, fill in the gap, I noticed dot dot dot, fill in the gap, or you didn't dot, dot, dot, fill in the gap.

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And as she communicates this, it might not be a big thing at all.

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And then for us men, we go like, I am not that important.

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And we do this once, twice, three times, hundreds times, thousands of times in the relationship.

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And every time there is that small moment of closure in our heart.

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Not a total closure.

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She no longer trusts us, doesn't feel safe at all, and leaves, not at all.

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That would be more an expression of wounding if, for instance, we forgot to take care of something small, even though we promised, right?

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So it shouldn't lead to a relationship meltdown.

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That's not the expression of the feminine intuition or oracle coming through.

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That's more towards the realm of trauma and wounding at play.

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But there is a small moment of closure in her heart.

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If you really want to meet her needs, if you really want to create the highest intimacy, safety, and trust with her, then it is important as men that we learn to navigate the subtle depth of her emotional expressions.

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So it's very important that these small moments where she makes us aware of us not being in our practice of consistency, that we really embrace these moments with an open heart and we stay conscious.

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A really powerful answer might be Thank you for bringing this up.

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Yes.

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I said I'm going to do this.

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I forgot I'm going to take care of it, whenever you're able to take care of it.

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It's not about being overly apologetic and being like, oh, I'm so sorry.

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I'm so bad.

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No, that's like totally losing your spine, right?

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You are a man.

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You are imperfect.

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We're all imperfect.

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This is not about perfection, but this is about ownership.

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So when you haven't been consistent, own it, and then let your actions speak that you take this seriously..

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'Cause it's, some men own it, but then they don't follow through with it.

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And while owning it is better than not owning it, you want to let actions speak as well.

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Specifically here when it comes to embodying consistency, which is part of healthy masculine expression, part of your healthy masculine core.

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Something very important to mention here as well is that when it comes to the practice of consistency, it's best to not say like, Hey, I've done this, I've done that, I've done this.

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Yeah, cool, but go a level deeper.

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And just don't say it.

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Let her notice, let her notice it has been done.

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Notice how that can be difficult.

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You want that kind of validation, right?

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Of course if you need to let her know 'cause it's something important, you let her know.

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But for instance, one of the things I do is I take care of the tires for the car.

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I always make sure the tire pressure is correctly filled.

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And this is something I consistently do to always ensure that on days where my woman has to go somewhere with the car, that the tire pressure is correctly filled.

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And this is something she leans on, she trusts that I'm going to do . And this is a small thing, and that's my responsibility.

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I take that very seriously, that it's always safe to drive the car.

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And I don't need to say that.

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Hey, I've done this.

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Hey, I have to put the pressure.

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Yeah, nothing wrong with that, but she notices.

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I'm not just talking about my wife.

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Every woman will notice, and the more conscious a woman is, the more she will appreciate that.

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The more she will see that.

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And that's gonna open our heart more.

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If we kind of go into rambling, oh, I did this, I did that, it's okay.

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But you just getting it done, and she asks you that, by the way, has been taken care of.

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This has been taken care of.

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Feel in to the difference of this, as a woman and as a man.

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Feel in to the difference of this.

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Hey baby, you know what I've been feeling?

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The tire pressure and 2.7 bar, fell into the energy of that.

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That's not very powerful.

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Or she comes, Hey baby, you know, I'm, I'm taking the car.

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Um, everything okay with the tires?

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It has already been taken care of.

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all good to go.

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Boom, polarity.

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And polarity there.

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There's just a sense of depth and a sense of mysticism in that it's like in a committed, long-term relationship that that creates a deep sense of polarity and also sexual attraction.

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So very, very powerful.

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When you're consistent, don't speak too much about it, just focus on doing it.

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And of course the key thing is being conscious and being present throughout the day, because then you naturally are consistent.

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The two go hand in hand.

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Let me give you another example.

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My wife loves to do her side of the bed in a specific way with the pillows and the cover and all of that.

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It's always has been very interesting for me to see how she kind of creates her own system and the pillow, and I'm kind of more masculine raw.

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As long as I can lie down in some shape or form and I've got some form of pillow or, or not a pillow.

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It doesn't really matter.

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But my wife has got her really sophisticated system of kind of placing and structuring her pillows.

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And recently I realized when she's in the evening, getting ready for bed, I want to learn how she does that.

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Now every evening I place her pillows in that order that she loves and put the mosquito . All in all it takes me 30 seconds.

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Really, 30 seconds.

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This is so easy.

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So quick.

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I'm quicker in the evening to get ready.

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She takes a little bit longer.

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And I made a commitment, I wanna do this, I wanna do this every evening.

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Not mentioning, but just her coming to bed and seeing that, right?

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Before we go to sleep.

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And, and seeing it has been taken care of.

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The action is so small, but it's a consistency of that action.

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I do it once per year, yeah, okay, cool.

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But I do this almost to every day?

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Wow, that's an unbelievable way of honoring the feminine.

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So consistency is ultimately an expression of deep devotion and of deep honoring of the feminine.

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And we also have to be very mindful, and this goes vice versa, of course, in a relationship that we don't look at it from a 50 50 standpoint.

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This is not a transactional relationship.

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This is about love, and the highest love says how can I meet all your needs from a place of joy, from a place of wanting to honor you and wanting to be devoted to you, vice versa?

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That is the embodiment and that will create a level of intimacy, trust and safety with the feminine and vice versa with us men as a woman listening, that is just beyond.

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That's how you experience the relationship you want.

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So my invitation for the men listening here is, how can you deepen your practice of consistency from now on?

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I invite you to journal about key things that you can improve in your life, in your practice of consistency, whether you are seeing a woman or whether you are in a relationship right now, or if you're not in a relationship, how can you be more consistent in a relationship with yourself?

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Taking care of yourself in every possible way, whether it's going to the gym, your spiritual health, physical health, emotional health, financial health, then you can focus on how can I be consistent there?

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Because if you can be consistent there, there's a higher chance this can translate more easily also into your relationship.

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And I really want you to journal and jot these things down and then fully reclaim your practice of consistency and making a commitment out of that.

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Sometimes you will fail at it.

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Such is life.

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You are not perfect.

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I am not perfect.

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We're all imperfect.

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Then own it and just show up again.

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And this kind of intention and this knowing and the embodiment of this, That's the best you can give in a relationship, and the best is always enough for a conscious woman.

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And as a woman listening, how can you own this need more within you?

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Really embrace it, rather than believing in conditioning that you shouldn't care about these things too much, really owning your deeper desire here.

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Your deeper desire of him being conscious and present, which transcends your own desires, but is actually a selfless desire as well.

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Not just for him to expand into his highest power.

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Now, if you have enjoyed these episode.

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It would mean the world to me for us to continue to provide you with these in-depth episodes for free every two weeks that you can, if you can leave a five star review this takes a few seconds, and if you leave a few words like a written review that might take 30 seconds, just your experience of the podcast.

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And I also have free eBooks, and other books as well.

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I'm the author of Understand Women Better and the author of my new book, which came out a few months ago, Love, Relationships and Awakening.

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Thank you so much for being here.

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It is truly an honor to be of service in your journey.

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About the Podcast

Masculine & Feminine Dynamics
Lorin Krenn is an internationally sought after teacher in the field of relationships who helps people embody their awakened masculine/awakened feminine in relationships & life. The Masculine & Feminine Dynamics Podcast focuses on relationship dynamics between the masculine and the feminine and how you can experience the deepest intimacy humanly possible and embody your authentic nature.