What a Fully Devoted Man Actually Looks Like
A fully devoted man guards what he loves on three levels: the physical, the emotional and the energetic. Lorin describes devotion as a man fully giving himself to the union, in service to a higher love. From receiving feedback without defensiveness to a personal story from Santorini about honoring a partner who is not in the room, the episode shows what devotion looks like in practice. Lorin speaks to owning reactive moments and initiating repair, letting go of the ego’s need for validation, and how jealousy and insecurity affect this dynamic. It closes by connecting devotion in love with devotion to Spirit. Men come away with practical steps toward full devotion, and women learn why they feel fully safe only when all three levels are met.
Mentioned in this episode:
How Old Souls Find Their True Purpose
A 2.5-hour live online workshop with Lorin Krenn
The Awakened Masculine Program
An 8-week immersive journey. For the man who is done repeating the same patterns in relationships, business, leadership, and life.
Transcript
It is vital that a man protects the emotional integrity of the relationship.
Speaker A:When you go down this path of deepest devotion, you will lose parts of yourself, but those parts are anyway immature parts of manhood.
Speaker A:Yes, you will sacrifice that gazing and that validation.
Speaker A:You will sacrifice being with other women and having other novel sexual experiences.
Speaker A:You will sacrifice all these things, but you're not really giving anything up.
Speaker A:What you're really doing is you are stepping into the most powerful expression of yourself.
Speaker A:Because the man who feels most powerful is the man who lives with utmost integrity.
Speaker A:Welcome to the Masculine and Feminine Dynamics podcast.
Speaker A:My name is Lorien Kren and I help people get to the core of their deepest challenges in relationships, purpose in life.
Speaker A:I do this through my trademark coaching mythology, the core method, which is CPD accredited.
Speaker A:Masculine feminine dynamics are not gender specific.
Speaker A:We all have masculine feminine energies inside us.
Speaker A:If you haven't subscribed yet, subscribe now so you never miss an episode.
Speaker A:Every woman wants to know whether the man she's with is all in in.
Speaker A:And every man, without necessarily knowing this, consciously wants to embody full commitment and devotion because it is the essence of the divine masculine.
Speaker A:It is when a man feels at his most powerful self, when he fully and deeply, utterly commits and devotes himself to one woman.
Speaker A:In today's episode, you will learn as a woman the science whether a man is fully devoted.
Speaker A:And as a man, you will learn practical steps how you can step into full devotion so you are in your true power and in your true essence in relationship with women.
Speaker A:I use heterosexual language, but I do this for practicality and for simplicity.
Speaker A:Of course, this applies to all relationship dynamics as well as we all have masculine and feminine energies inside us.
Speaker A:Now, when it comes to the word devotion, it is very important to understand that faithfulness in terms of a man not sleeping with other people, yes, that is faithfulness.
Speaker A:Yes, that is some form of commitment, but it is nowhere near true.
Speaker A:Faith, devotion, Devotion is something much deeper.
Speaker A:It is a man fully giving himself to the union, giving himself to the relationship.
Speaker A:And specifically, and I will get very practical today, specifically the three signs a man is fully devoted or the three steps as a man listening.
Speaker A:But we need to understand that devotion is always devotion to something higher.
Speaker A:And what is it here?
Speaker A:A devotion to the highest love or to a higher love?
Speaker A:What does the relationship and union need to reach higher depths of love and intimacy?
Speaker A:That is what devotion means.
Speaker A:It's that devotion to this higher love.
Speaker A:And there's a huge difference between simply not sleeping with other people and kind of sexual, physical, sexual Commitment or faithfulness.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And the deepest devotion to this higher love and the continuous working and facing of your ego and shadow as a man in order to create and experience this love at the deepest level.
Speaker A:Now, let's get practical.
Speaker A:What are the three signs?
Speaker A:A man who is fully devoted guards what he loves on free levels.
Speaker A:The physical, the emotional and the energetic level.
Speaker A:And the combination of all three of them is what true devotion looks like in action.
Speaker A:The first one is protecting the physical integrity of the relationship.
Speaker A:This one is obvious.
Speaker A:This one is simple.
Speaker A:Not sleeping with other people, no sexual acts with other people.
Speaker A:That is the obvious one.
Speaker A:I don't have to say much more than that.
Speaker A:It's obviously clear to everyone.
Speaker A:The second is protecting the emotional integrity of the relationship, or guarding.
Speaker A:Now what does that mean?
Speaker A:It means creating safety for a woman for every emotion that she brings to the relationship.
Speaker A:If a man is sexually committed to a relationship, however, every single time a woman brings to him important feedback about the relationship, something that upset her, something that hurt her, something that she feels she needs to bring to her man or to her partner, and you become defensive, you get emotionally reactive, insecure.
Speaker A:Minimize her experience, defend and justify, deflect, blame, whatever it may be, an emotional insecure reaction, then you are not devoted to protecting the emotional integrity and emotional safe space of the relationship.
Speaker A:It's not devotion if every single time you get defensive.
Speaker A:And I had to learn this the hard way.
Speaker A:I prided myself in being faithful.
Speaker A:I prided myself in being fully committed and fully devoted.
Speaker A:But what I didn't realize is that every time something was brought to me, I became defensive, I got reactive.
Speaker A:And this is very important, because defensiveness is being in service to our own ego, in service to being right and our own worldview that we're trying to protect.
Speaker A:A fragile sense of self devotion is being in service to something greater.
Speaker A:Going back to what I said at the beginning.
Speaker A:To the highest love or to the love, the union, the sacred union, the sacred love of that relationship.
Speaker A:So it is vital that a man protects the emotional integrity of the relationship, which means he must create a dynamic where the woman feels safe to bring him everything.
Speaker A:And now, of course, if she's screaming at him, yelling at him, calling him names.
Speaker A:I'm not talking about tolerating abuse, absolutely not.
Speaker A:I'm talking about a woman who is expressing her upset.
Speaker A:I'm talking about a woman who's bringing feedback into the relationship because she cares deeply about the relationship, because she expresses her true desires and her true needs.
Speaker A:Something that is absolutely vital and healthy.
Speaker A:For a relationship.
Speaker A:So there needs to be a safe emotional space.
Speaker A:There needs to be a space where she can bring anything and that there is no defensiveness.
Speaker A:Otherwise, it's not true devotion.
Speaker A:Because she ends up feeling alone in the relationship.
Speaker A:It doesn't matter what you do physically for her, it doesn't matter how, it doesn't matter.
Speaker A:If there is no emotional safe space, then she will feel alone in the relationship.
Speaker A:Going to level three, and perhaps the one that men miss out on the most and where a lot of leaking of energy happens, for lack of better words, the level three of devotion is protecting the energetic integrity of the relationship, guarding it in a sacred way.
Speaker A:And what that means is how does a man speak about his wife or his partner when she's not in a room with him?
Speaker A:I'm gonna give you a direct example.
Speaker A:My wife and I were on a trip on a holiday in Santorini, Greece.
Speaker A:Beautiful island, volcanic island.
Speaker A:Many of you would have heard about it.
Speaker A:And on that holiday, we went to a beautiful restaurant.
Speaker A:Second time I made the booking again, because we really enjoyed our dinner.
Speaker A:It was the best restaurant, at least from our perspective.
Speaker A:And there were two people at reception, two women.
Speaker A:And my wife forgot something, a hair clip.
Speaker A:And it was super windy.
Speaker A:And she said, oh, God, my hair.
Speaker A:And in that moment, I just thought, okay, I'm going to take initiative.
Speaker A:And I offered to go back to the.
Speaker A:To our hotel room and get it.
Speaker A:It wasn't far away.
Speaker A:So I went back to the hotel room, got the hair clipper.
Speaker A:I think there are other ways to call it.
Speaker A:I might say it wrongly, but the women can correct me in the comments.
Speaker A:And then I went back to the restaurant.
Speaker A:She was upstairs.
Speaker A:I was downstairs kind of entering the restaurant.
Speaker A:And these two women at reception start speaking to me and tell me, we've seen your Instagram.
Speaker A:You've got such a good energy.
Speaker A:We're following you.
Speaker A:You're such an amazing man.
Speaker A:It wasn't necessarily outright kind of trying to hit on me or flirt with me, but there was an energy of, you're amazing, we really like you, that kind of thing.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:So the first thing I said was, thank you.
Speaker A:My wife and I, we do everything together.
Speaker A:So if you tell me the work I'm doing is great or what you can see on Instagram, then 50% of that goes to my wife.
Speaker A:Because of her, I'm able to do this.
Speaker A:She's my greatest inspiration.
Speaker A:I'm paraphrasing, these weren't the exact words I used, but this is the message I brought across in that moment.
Speaker A:And that's how I ended that conversation.
Speaker A:And these two women were very kind.
Speaker A:I don't think they had bad intentions whatsoever, by the way.
Speaker A:They were really kind.
Speaker A:They were just expressing enthusiasm and about the work, the teachings on the feminine and integrity and having a healthy relationship with the feminine, either way.
Speaker A:But whatever it was, in that moment, I was protecting the energetic integrity of the relationship of my marriage.
Speaker A:I then said this to my wife, and she felt really safe with me.
Speaker A:She expressed to me how proud she felt to be my wife, how honored she felt.
Speaker A:And I didn't say it kind of to get validation, but I just told her what just happened very briefly.
Speaker A:And in that moment, as a man, you feel so fucking powerful.
Speaker A:You feel so powerful because you are beyond the need for some kind of sexual or what doesn't have to be sexual, but some kind of validation.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Some kind of.
Speaker A:And before I did my deep work and my dark nights of the soul, I would have not responded in that way.
Speaker A:And I will always be honest with you.
Speaker A:I wouldn't have responded in that way.
Speaker A:I would have soaked in that voice, validation.
Speaker A:And I would have told myself, that's fine.
Speaker A:And maybe that is fine.
Speaker A:It's not like you're committing a crime.
Speaker A:But at the same time, is it the most powerful expression of devotion?
Speaker A:Absolutely not.
Speaker A:I'm not trying to make a moral argument.
Speaker A:I'm not trying to shame people and tell them that you have sinned or whatever in taking on that validation and not speaking about your wife.
Speaker A:I'm not talking about doing this as an act of performance because I'm anxious.
Speaker A:I need to speak of my wife all the time.
Speaker A:No, it's not about that.
Speaker A:That would just be some kind of control or performance energy.
Speaker A:That's not what I'm speaking about.
Speaker A:I'm speaking of when you're truly dropped in and you see another person, whether they're actually flirting with you or there's some kind of exchange of energy that is happening at moment, some kind of admiration or whatever.
Speaker A:It may be that in that moment, moment, you're immediately honoring your wife.
Speaker A:You're immediately honoring your union.
Speaker A:It's just what feels right to me at the deepest level.
Speaker A:So this is not about moral, ethical, whatever.
Speaker A:It's about what feels right to me and what feels right to most men who are deeply devoted.
Speaker A:This is how they conduct themselves.
Speaker A:This is how they hold themselves.
Speaker A:They honor their woman when she's with them and especially also when she's not in the room with them.
Speaker A:And it's not about you know, saying someone, hey, I'm married.
Speaker A:Stop hitting on me.
Speaker A:That kind of.
Speaker A:You can do this in a very.
Speaker A:You can do this with integrity.
Speaker A:You can do it with respect.
Speaker A:You can do with kindness.
Speaker A:You can do it in a classy and elegant way.
Speaker A:And this is level three that many, many men miss out on.
Speaker A:Because as men, we are conditioned to soak in that validation.
Speaker A:We're conditioned to soak it in and to get high on that kind of, oh, wow, look, we're desired.
Speaker A:And how beautiful.
Speaker A:Let me soak it in.
Speaker A:Let me smile back.
Speaker A:Let me flirt a little bit.
Speaker A:I haven't done anything right, that kind of thing.
Speaker A:But you can feel, deep down, it doesn't feel right, or you don't feel at your most powerful as a man.
Speaker A:You feel at your most powerful when you express devotion, whether your partner is with you or not with you.
Speaker A:You can ask yourself this question.
Speaker A:How would she have felt about you if she would have witnessed the interaction?
Speaker A:That's a very confronting and super powerful question.
Speaker A:How would my wife have felt in that moment?
Speaker A:She would have felt incredibly safe.
Speaker A:She would have felt incredibly honored, of course.
Speaker A:But now imagine a man here starts flirting, right?
Speaker A:And a man starts soaking that in.
Speaker A:It doesn't mean the relationship is over.
Speaker A:It doesn't mean, well, it depends, obviously, what happens, obviously.
Speaker A:But even if theoretically nothing happened, and he just said, oh, yeah, thank you, yeah, I'm doing this work, and blah, blah, and doesn't mention, conveniently, his wife or his.
Speaker A:His partner in all of this or his commitment in some shape or form, even if theoretically nothing happened, a man will not feel that he's most powerful.
Speaker A:And a woman won't feel the deepest level of safety and trust and respect that she could feel for that man.
Speaker A:So again, we're talking about levels or layers of devotion.
Speaker A:But when a man meets all, all three of them, which is, number one, protecting the physical integrity of the relationship, number two, protecting the emotional integrity of the relationship, and number three, the energetic integrity of the relationship.
Speaker A:A man who's fully devoted guards these three with his life.
Speaker A:Right now, we just have to be mindful here.
Speaker A:This doesn't mean that a man who's fully devoted is perfect.
Speaker A:This doesn't mean he's the knight in shining armor who saves the princess kind of thing, the perfect Hollywood guy.
Speaker A:This man is working through his conditioning.
Speaker A:This man is working through his wounds and his challenges.
Speaker A:But he gives his very best and always aspires his very best to meet these three levels.
Speaker A:There are times where I might still, for a moment fall back into an old pattern of defensiveness.
Speaker A:If then I would shame myself and say, oh, I'm a failure, I am not devoted, then that's just creating shame in my life.
Speaker A:This is not about perfection.
Speaker A:No man will get this perfect.
Speaker A:Especially.
Speaker A:Well, the physical you should get perfect.
Speaker A:Not sleeping with anyone, but especially a moral, emotional integrity of the relationship and always creating a safe space.
Speaker A:There might be times where you are triggered.
Speaker A:There might be times where the little boy inside you gets activated.
Speaker A:But again, what you do then is you own it and you initiate repair.
Speaker A:And this too is again, protecting the emotional integrity of the relationship.
Speaker A:You don't let it slide.
Speaker A:You don't brush it underneath the carpet.
Speaker A:You protect that integrity.
Speaker A:And another important thing when it comes to the protecting the energetic integrity of the relationship is that when, for instance, in this example, a man would then flirt with these two women or really kind of take in that.
Speaker A:That validation, in that moment, he's energetically disappearing, spiritually speaking, he's.
Speaker A:He's not rock solid in his devotion and commitment to the union.
Speaker A:He's going kind of somewhere else.
Speaker A:And as long as a man does that, he won't feel in his highest power.
Speaker A:He won't feel that he's living and embodying his highest integrity.
Speaker A:So the point I'm trying to make is, yes, of course, it's about the woman and her experience and protecting and honoring her, but at the same time, he.
Speaker A:It's also about you.
Speaker A:I would even go as far as primarily, this is about you.
Speaker A:Secondarily, it is about her.
Speaker A:You're not doing it for her, you're doing it for yourself.
Speaker A:Your own words, that means something.
Speaker A:Your own commitment, that means something.
Speaker A:If you choose someone fully, you choose to be fully devoted to the highest love in that union.
Speaker A:That means you have to guard all three levels.
Speaker A:Leading us to the last piece, which I talked about before.
Speaker A:All of them, what do they have in common?
Speaker A:It's about no longer serving your own ego.
Speaker A:Most men are devoted to their own ego and shadow.
Speaker A:I used to be as well, and many women as well.
Speaker A:Of course, this is not just on anyone.
Speaker A:This is any person.
Speaker A:This is not just related to men, but so many men, they are in service and devoted to their ego, right?
Speaker A:Not creating an emotional safe space, always getting defensive, seeking in that validation, you know, leaking energy in that way.
Speaker A:All of this is serving your own ego and your own shadow.
Speaker A:Ask yourself, what does the union and relationship truly need in order for us to experience the highest love?
Speaker A:And you will immediately gain deep insights and Understandings of what needs to change.
Speaker A:When you go down this path of deepest devotion, you will lose parts of yourself, but those parts are anyway immature parts of manhood, right?
Speaker A:So yes, you will sacrifice kind of that gazing and that validation.
Speaker A:You will sacrifice being with other women and having other novel sexual experiences.
Speaker A:You will sacrifice all these things, but you're not really giving anything up.
Speaker A:What you're really doing is you are stepping into the most powerful expression of yourself.
Speaker A:Because the man who feels most powerful is the man who lives with utmost integrity.
Speaker A:That is the key thing.
Speaker A:It doesn't matter what worldly success you achieve.
Speaker A:I have worked with men who achieved the most wildest, incredible abundance.
Speaker A:But they cheated on their partner.
Speaker A:So they lived in a very miserable reality.
Speaker A:They didn't feel in their power at all, even though they had all the worldly success and everyone wanted to beat them.
Speaker A:What every man deep down wants to be is the man of highest integrity.
Speaker A:Why do so few men embody this?
Speaker A:But now, of course, more than more.
Speaker A:And this is part of the work I do.
Speaker A:One of the big reasons why I'm doing the work I do, because most men just don't know how much power and truth and how much they're missing out on in life.
Speaker A:By not living that, by not living with this level of devotion and integrity, you don't realize how much you're missing out on.
Speaker A:You don't realize that this is all self centered, serving your own ego, your own shadows, your own wounds that you're feeding essentially in these moments, you're not feeding your soul, you're not feeding your truth, you're not embodying your divine masculine essence, the deepest truth and nature of who you truly are.
Speaker A:So as a woman, the bare minimum is, is sexual commitment and faithfulness.
Speaker A:But of course, as a woman, especially as a woman on the path of opening your heart deeply and transforming your consciousness and stepping and embodying your divine feminine essence.
Speaker A:Especially as such a woman, you will not settle for just a man who is faithful.
Speaker A:You will want him to step into his deepest power and essence.
Speaker A:And this is not you wanting to change him, but actually you knowing who this man could be at the deepest level, whether he lives up to it, whether he steps into it, whether, whether he heeds the call and he receives your invitation through your feedback, through what you express your needs, your desires to him, that is up to him, right?
Speaker A:And as a man, a woman who desires this level of integrity from you, wow, that's a real woman, or I don't want to use the word Real woman, but that's a woman who.
Speaker A:With whom you can grow to the highest heights and experience a totally different level of intimacy and connection and sacredness.
Speaker A:Such a woman is essentially your mirror.
Speaker A:She's essentially saying, I don't just want an okay version of you, I want the highest version of you right now.
Speaker A:One last bit here before we end this episode.
Speaker A:What about jealousy?
Speaker A:What about envy?
Speaker A:I'm sure especially men asking this question, but also women listening or watching.
Speaker A:This is different than a woman who is envious right now.
Speaker A:If a woman woman is constantly envious, anxious, competing with other women, this introduces this kind of doubt into the relationship and a level of insecurity.
Speaker A:So it's very important to understand that a woman who is highly conscious will not desire for you to show up in this way because she feels insecure or because she feels that she needs to compete with other women.
Speaker A:She understands that her radiance and her truth is irreplaceable.
Speaker A:She understands that she is not here to compete with anyone.
Speaker A:She has let go of that control.
Speaker A:She knows who she is and she knows what she brings to the table.
Speaker A:She's not competing and she's not worried about all these other women might catch my man or anything along those lines, right?
Speaker A:A woman who is insecure around that, who's through conditioning and limiting beliefs and wounds, competing with other women, and then desires a man kind of to reassure her constantly.
Speaker A:That is a different dynamic.
Speaker A:Both will desire true devotion.
Speaker A:However, a woman who has a lot of insecurity and is competing with other women, she.
Speaker A:In this dynamic, there is lots of insecurity then also projected onto the man, right?
Speaker A:And then it can lead him to doubt himself, to constantly try to appease her or reassure her.
Speaker A:And it can actually cause an unhealthy dynamic that looks very different than the dynamic of what I described before.
Speaker A:Let's make this practical.
Speaker A:Let's go back to the example of Santorini where these women talk to me.
Speaker A:My wife is not saying you need to speak like this to other women.
Speaker A:You need to do X, Y and Z.
Speaker A:She trusts me.
Speaker A:She doesn't doubt.
Speaker A:She's not competing.
Speaker A:And I do it not for her.
Speaker A:I do it for us, for our union, and also for my own integrity and truth.
Speaker A:And of course, then to honor and protect her.
Speaker A:But primarily I do this because it's.
Speaker A:It's my highest truth.
Speaker A:If I were doing it only for her, it would be an act.
Speaker A:It would be an act of prayer, pleasing.
Speaker A:But if you do something for yourself and the union and her, then it's the highest truth, right?
Speaker A:So very important, very, very important that distinction and true devotion is a man fully giving himself.
Speaker A:If there is a strong insecurity in competing with other women, there will be a blockage in the union, in the energetic field of the union, to live from full devotion, because so much insecurity is kind of leaking into the container, perhaps an episode for a different time.
Speaker A:However, I'm speaking here about a woman who's highly conscious, who's no longer competing with other women, and who desires true devotion.
Speaker A:On a deeper level.
Speaker A:She will never feel fully safe until these three levels are met.
Speaker A:She will somehow still feel, feel, or even if she feels somewhat safe, she doesn't feel fully settled and grounded in the relationship because at a deeper level her intuition is telling her that that devotion and commitment is not rock solid.
Speaker A:So you as a woman listening, you're not going crazy when you feel that.
Speaker A:And you as a man listening, do it for your own integrity and truth.
Speaker A:Do it because this is what you stand for in principle, as a man.
Speaker A:And secondly, do it for her.
Speaker A:If you do that, then every time you do it, you feel more powerful, you feel in your highest integrity and there is more energy also available to you because you have stepped into a higher timeline.
Speaker A:You've stepped into a much more powerful version of yourself.
Speaker A:Not a version in service, your ego and the getting validated, but a version that is beyond that, a version that has transcended that, a version that has that in check and doesn't go back there anymore.
Speaker A:A version that is devoted to something higher.
Speaker A:Which leads us to the last thing I'm going to say here, which is in this journey you will understand that the highest devotion to love, to the sacredness of the Union, is also your devotion to God, to universe, to Spirit, to the Great Mother, to the Creator.
Speaker A:The two go hand in hand.
Speaker A:And that is the power of it.
Speaker A:A man fully devoted to God, to Spirit, is a man fully devoted in his relationship and vice versa.
Speaker A:In my path of devotion and surrendering my ego and is an ongoing journey, I have more things to learn.
Speaker A:I can humble and surrender my ego even more.
Speaker A:I am not perfect, perfectly healed, nor am I perfectly awakened or enlightened.
Speaker A:I believe that as long as we live and breathe, we've got things to learn and we've got things to mature and to evolve from.
Speaker A:Whether you find it out through the relationship journey or you figure it out through the kind of spiritual journey of connecting with God or the universe, the two go hand in hand.
Speaker A:The man who's truly devoted to something higher.
Speaker A:It's in the relationship.
Speaker A:It's in your connection with spirit.
Speaker A:It's in your connection with God.
Speaker A:It's all interconnected.
Speaker A:It's not about moral ethics, doing what is right, doing what is wrong.
Speaker A:It's something deeper.
Speaker A:A higher truth.
Speaker A:Obviously, people have other truths.
Speaker A:But from all my experience and from all the people I work with, this, to me, gets as close to close to the highest truth as he can get.
Speaker A:Thank you for watching.
Speaker A:Thank you for listening.
Speaker A:It's a true honor to be of service in your journey.
Speaker A:If you haven't subscribed yet, subscribe now so you never miss an episode.
Speaker A:Thank you.
