The Myth That Passion Fades With Time
Have you ever heard that in a long-term relationship, love and passion fades with time? In this episode, Lorin reveals that in fact, the longer you are in a relationship, the more love and passion you can experience.
Mentioned in this episode:
The Deep Polarity Program
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Transcript
Have you ever heard that in a long-term relationship, it is normal that the
Speaker:love and passion fades with time?
Speaker:Well, it's a myth, a myth I'm going to unravel.
Speaker:I'm going to talk about why this could not be farther away from the truth.
Speaker:Because the longer you are in a relationship, the more love
Speaker:and passion you can actually experience, and why this myth is so
Speaker:widespread and where it comes from.
Speaker:My name is Lorin Krenn and I'm the host of this podcast.
Speaker:My mission is to help people utilize the power of masculine and feminine polarity
Speaker:and experience deep and healthy intimacy.
Speaker:Let's drop in
Speaker:Growing up, we are modeled dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships.
Speaker:Unfortunately, this is the norm and it tends to start with our parents.
Speaker:This dwindles, our natural fire, our natural yearning, our natural passion
Speaker:to experience love, to experience deep intimacy in a relationship.
Speaker:I remember growing up and hearing things such as love is just the
Speaker:chemical cocktail in your brain.
Speaker:It doesn't exist.
Speaker:Or relationships are always suffering.
Speaker:Or another one, enjoy your freedom in your intimate life as much as you can
Speaker:while it lasts, because when you settle, well, then you're no longer going to
Speaker:experience the sense of adventure, excitement, and passionate love.
Speaker:All of these, and there are so many other limiting narratives
Speaker:that I'm sure you have heard.
Speaker:And even if you don't remember, we pick these things up as we
Speaker:grow up as children, right?
Speaker:As children, our parents, or to people close to us, the way they show up in
Speaker:relationships are our first teachers.
Speaker:And we are not able as children to discern whether that's a great
Speaker:teacher or a dysfunctional teacher.
Speaker:And most of the time it's a dysfunctional teacher, then you might even see
Speaker:right now, wow but my parents, they always work together and that's great.
Speaker:That's important, right?
Speaker:But if they were just together but there was no connection, there was
Speaker:no intimacy, then you pick the.
Speaker:We can feel that.
Speaker:It's not just about being together and staying together.
Speaker:It is about constantly nurturing and deepening their connection,
Speaker:the intimacy, love and polarity.
Speaker:But back to the examples I've just given.
Speaker:Love is just a chemical cocktail in your brain.
Speaker:It doesn't exist.
Speaker:Relationships are always suffering.
Speaker:I'm going to give you a harsh truth.
Speaker:All of these things are said by people who have never experienced deep intimacy.
Speaker:Who've never experienced intimacy that touches the heart.
Speaker:That touches the soul.
Speaker:That feels like home.
Speaker:That feels like a warmth in your empower body.
Speaker:The feeling of finally arriving.
Speaker:You cannot put a name, a label to it.
Speaker:But it just does feel like home.
Speaker:It does feel like your natural state of being, your most innocent
Speaker:self, your most truthful self.
Speaker:All of the people who say this are saying this because they're suffering
Speaker:and they have given up on the yearning deep inside their heart because
Speaker:no one grows up, comes into his world and just says, you know what?
Speaker:I give up on love.
Speaker:I give up on relationships.
Speaker:This shit doesn't exist.
Speaker:No one does that.
Speaker:This is learned fucking behavior.
Speaker:And I feel compassion for those who say these things because it's
Speaker:a miserable reality to be in.
Speaker:It's only suffering.
Speaker:Because true suffering is to give up on love, is to give up on that deepest,
Speaker:innocent, most truthful yearning inside our heart, inside our soul.
Speaker:This is why we came here.
Speaker:I believe whole heartedly.
Speaker:We came on this earth to realize ourselves in union to heal, to awaken,
Speaker:to experience the deepest states of joy and love in union with another soul.
Speaker:Because in union, we're not only mirrored our soul's beauty, but also our
Speaker:wounding, how our trauma is impacting our now reality, our habitual patterns
Speaker:of closing, shutting down our body.
Speaker:Disconnecting, shutting down from the love, from the deep intimacy that
Speaker:is available to us in each moment.
Speaker:And growing up, we hear these things and this becomes deeply
Speaker:ingrained within our subconscious.
Speaker:Instead of being more.
Speaker:That by consistently working on a relationship, putting in the effort,
Speaker:committing whole heartedly, soulheartedly, I just made that word up, doesn't exist
Speaker:I believe, that our relationship, if we put it into work, it can become the
Speaker:most powerful and empowering container.
Speaker:The most powerful experience in this human life.
Speaker:We're not told that.
Speaker:We're almost told to give.
Speaker:And that it doesn't work.
Speaker:Now, why does this myth even exist that love and passion fades with time?
Speaker:And then when you settle, it gets fucking boring after a while?
Speaker:The answer is very simple.
Speaker:It is brutal again, but the reason why people believe these things that it
Speaker:gets boring and all of that, is because most people have not reached a level
Speaker:of consciousness in the wakening or healing, where they're able to step out
Speaker:of their habitual patterns, conditioning, pain, and suffering, and are able to
Speaker:consciously create intimacy, sieze the spontaneous at the, of the present moment.
Speaker:Because you create, you decide or create the destiny and future
Speaker:of your relationship in the now.
Speaker:It's very, very simple.
Speaker:What you do from moment to moment on, in this very second, whether
Speaker:you are in a relationship or in your future relationship, decides
Speaker:the fate of your relationship.
Speaker:And if you are not putting in the effort, if you are not doing the
Speaker:work then, well, you are creating a dysfunctional relationship and you're
Speaker:going to get stuck in your habitual patterns of closing, withdrawing
Speaker:your love disconnecting from your partner, but more about it in a second.
Speaker:Another reason why this myth exists is because we're so stuck in our hand, stack
Speaker:in our identity, in our limited stories of suffering, that we are unlovable,
Speaker:that we are not good enough, that when people get to really know us, they
Speaker:won't like us, that we're bad, that it will, that they will always abandon us.
Speaker:We all in some shape or form suffer from these stories because
Speaker:of wounding we have experienced.
Speaker:But if you're only there, then what happens is you are no longer able to
Speaker:feel that deeply intimate and emotional experience that arises when you are
Speaker:intimate, physically, emotionally, spiritually, with another being.
Speaker:When you hug your partner or future partner, when you kiss them, when
Speaker:they are just next to you, that is a deeply, deeply intimate experience.
Speaker:You might think now what the fuck is Lorin talking about?
Speaker:But this is because we're numbed out, because let me tell you this.
Speaker:Your body, your heart is ever responding to your partner.
Speaker:So let's say your partner loves you.
Speaker:You will love them in each moment you can feel these love.
Speaker:You can feel their love, they're next to you, they're
Speaker:hugging you, they're with you.
Speaker:And this creates a state of joy, euphoria, ecstasy, love and passion.
Speaker:And guess what?
Speaker:This only invites more.
Speaker:More intimacy, more trust, more safety, more love.
Speaker:But we are numbed out from that.
Speaker:Let's go deeper into this hour.
Speaker:Is the vessel, the conduit for which intimacy, polarity and love flow through.
Speaker:It is the instrument for us to receive love, to give love and
Speaker:to experience and feel love.
Speaker:If you're stuck in your head, I like to say this, all you
Speaker:have is a mental construct of intimacy and of a relationship.
Speaker:But when you're in your body, you can actually experience a relationship.
Speaker:You can experience intimacy, you can experience love.
Speaker:But of course, if you're in your mind, you can't.
Speaker:And that is why a lot of people think they fall out of love, but they have
Speaker:actually just completely lost awareness of their inner world, of their heart,
Speaker:of the intimate nature of being with another person, being involved with them,
Speaker:physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Speaker:We lose awareness of our body, of our deepest internal world.
Speaker:I also like to say the body is the truth, of course, unless it's
Speaker:hijacked by the shadow, but that's another topic for another time.
Speaker:Now, there's a saying that goes also one of the other reasons why
Speaker:this myth exists, there is a saying that says, monkey see, monkey do.
Speaker:And this is what we do.
Speaker:This is what we do in relationships.
Speaker:We see 90, well I don't want to say 99% of the time because that's of course
Speaker:not the accurate statistic of that.
Speaker:But what I mean by that is mostly around us we see dysfunctional relationships.
Speaker:And if you don't see that, then you're one of the few.
Speaker:And that's amazing because that gives you such a jumpstart into this.
Speaker:Being able to do this.
Speaker:But the norm is that most of what we see around us is dysfunctional.
Speaker:And a deep universal truth is that I've come across, and this is something that
Speaker:I've meditated a lot about and, and found a lot about into, we humans, if
Speaker:we don't see something being modelled, we have difficulties to believe
Speaker:it and difficulties to create it.
Speaker:So this is our challenge, and this is my challenge to you.
Speaker:You who are, who is invested in this work, you need to be the role model.
Speaker:You need to be the one that ventures into uncertainty, that carves
Speaker:the path for others to follow.
Speaker:That is my intention for you, because you won't see a lot of people who
Speaker:are going to mirror you that work.
Speaker:You won't see a lot of unions, a sacred union where both have realized
Speaker:themselves to a degree where all they experience is an ever deepening of
Speaker:love, intimacy, polarity, trust, and safety doesn't mean they're perfect.
Speaker:Even the most to awaken people experienced arguments, experience,
Speaker:tension, experience friction, because two different minds collide, cultural
Speaker:beliefs, different beliefs, different upbringing, blah, blah, all of that stuff.
Speaker:But what I'm saying is, well, you're not getting that often.
Speaker:You don't see that often.
Speaker:And then we have difficulties to believe it.
Speaker:But what I'm seeing is you have to trust something deeper.
Speaker:You don't have to see it around you.
Speaker:You just have to feel this yearning in your heart.
Speaker:Another truth is the longer you are in a relationship.
Speaker:The deeper, the love should be.
Speaker:Now I'm careful with my language here.
Speaker:We shouldn't talk in this should be this way because that's very
Speaker:guilting and shaming kind of language.
Speaker:You should be feeling this, aw you're a bad, you're not fit.
Speaker:No, this is not what I mean by that.
Speaker:But what I'm meaning is that when both are putting in the effort and
Speaker:are going all the way, then they have the ability they can experience,
Speaker:and this is what is meant for us.
Speaker:This is what the universe intends for us, an ever deepening of love,
Speaker:passion, intimacy, and polarity.
Speaker:Our relationship at the deepest level is meant to become the
Speaker:evolution of consciousness.
Speaker:Consciousness is always evolving, is always deepening or expanding
Speaker:is a better word, potentially.
Speaker:And your relationship, if you want to be in highest alignment, if
Speaker:you want to experience a deepest love, passion, intimacy, well,
Speaker:you have to evolve together.
Speaker:And when you do that, you become almost so to speak the evolution or the embodiment
Speaker:of the highest universal purpose.
Speaker:And that is an incredible feeling.
Speaker:It's beyond a feeling, and this is exactly why we're doing the work.
Speaker:So in the end, as you see here, you're seeing that I'm pointing
Speaker:to work something deeper.
Speaker:This is not just about experiencing deeper love and intimacy.
Speaker:This is intertwined with your awakening journey, with your healing journey.
Speaker:And I'm going to teach more about all of these things, how you can access
Speaker:the deepest truth of your body, can access the infinite possibilities
Speaker:of creating love, intimacy, evoking, the deepest love in each moment with
Speaker:your energy in my Polarity program.
Speaker:Our next round is starting on the 22nd of May.
Speaker:2022.
Speaker:This is our most exclusive program, for live calls, embodiment practices,
Speaker:written modules, and a small group of like-minded and powerful seekers.
Speaker:And this is where your masculine or feminine identified,
Speaker:or a single or a couple.
Speaker:I'll show you step-by-step how you can experience and create the deepest,
Speaker:polarity and intimacy humanly possible.
Speaker:Evoke the deepest love available to you in each moment.
Speaker:We've just opened the doors.
Speaker:You can head over to lorinkrenn.com or click on the show notes and click
Speaker:on the first link to learn more and to apply if it aligns with you.
Speaker:Now, what do you need to do in order to make sure that this myth, that
Speaker:relationship become boring, which ultimately just means that we're stuck in
Speaker:our shadow, stuck in our habitual patterns of suffering shutdown, withdrawal.
Speaker:What do we need to do in order to make sure this doesn't happen, in order to make
Speaker:our deepest heart yearning our reality?
Speaker:Now the first step is that you need to look at your relationship in an
Speaker:entirely different way or your future relationship or your intimate life.
Speaker:You need to step out of the stories and limiting beliefs
Speaker:you carry with you, right?
Speaker:Because when you are, and it's so important, listen carefully here, if
Speaker:you have that limiting belief and story in your head, well, my partner is going
Speaker:to leave me anyway and I'm unlovable and the deeper we get together, the
Speaker:more they will realize I'm bad, you are in that moment when you're stuck in a
Speaker:story, cut off from the possibility of creating and evoking deep intimacy and
Speaker:creating deep connection in that moment.
Speaker:It sounds so simple but it isn't, because our stories, our suffering,
Speaker:our identifications are so strong.
Speaker:So the practice I'm going to give you here is the following.
Speaker:Interrupt the habitual patterns, interrupt the routine, right?
Speaker:Press your partner against you and kiss them passionately or whisper
Speaker:in their ear what you're going to do with them in the bedroom.
Speaker:Hug them, massage them, tell them a poem, whatever feels as your authentic
Speaker:truth interrupt the habitual patterns that habitual routine, the habitual
Speaker:patterns of shutdown, closing your heart, disconnecting, arguing, punishing your
Speaker:partner subconsciously for not meeting your childhood needs or not giving you
Speaker:validation, whereas our first practice is before we ask for a need to be met, to
Speaker:find out, okay, where are we coming from?
Speaker:Are we meeting these needs inside ourselves?
Speaker:Because paradoxically, when we meet and give ourselves that validation and love
Speaker:and compassion, our partner mirrors that.
Speaker:Because what we create in our internal world is reflected
Speaker:from our external world.
Speaker:Now, of course you have to get your needs met, and this is not always the
Speaker:case, but very often it is the case.
Speaker:Another topic for another time, I'm going astray here, because there are so many
Speaker:deep and beautiful things to go into.
Speaker:But the practice I'm going to give you here, interrupt the habitual
Speaker:patterns, and you won't believe how fucking powerful this is.
Speaker:This is life-changing.
Speaker:But be aware, it's so simple.
Speaker:It takes one second.
Speaker:Literally it takes one second to create the intimacy, but your shadow
Speaker:or your patterns or your suffering or your trauma stand in the way.
Speaker:Interrupt it.
Speaker:Interrupt it.
Speaker:Press your partner against you.
Speaker:Suddenly tell them how much you love them.
Speaker:Tell them three things you're grateful about in the relationship.
Speaker:Tell them free things you appreciated about them.
Speaker:Tell them how much you enjoy it and waking up that morning with them.
Speaker:And the more you do this, the more you naturally start to just do this.
Speaker:And also all these things build momentum, and this is so important.
Speaker:They build what I call the momentum of polarity, the momentum of deep intimacy.
Speaker:And guess to what that leads?
Speaker:It leads to the most ecstatic sex.
Speaker:It leads to eventually you both being erupted and overflowed with the yearning
Speaker:to ravish each other, to get as close as possible to each other's hearts and soul.
Speaker:It really is Ted simple.
Speaker:It's simple, but it's not easy.
Speaker:You have to build this momentum.
Speaker:And this momentum either works for you or against you.
Speaker:And if it works for you, then it's just going to invite this container,
Speaker:this co-created energy field you're creating is obviously just going to
Speaker:invite more intimacy, more trust, more safety, more polarity, more passion.
Speaker:But if that momentum works against you and all your experiences is
Speaker:habitual patterns of closing, arguing, tension, shutting down, punishing your
Speaker:partner for not meeting your needs that are very high chance you are
Speaker:not meeting inside yourself as well, then the momentum works against you.
Speaker:And then what you experienced is not ecstatic ex, sex is not deep intimacy,
Speaker:but you experience more closure.
Speaker:As I mentioned in the way of all of these are your traumas, your conditioning,
Speaker:your pain, or your limiting beliefs.
Speaker:That's why it's so challenging.
Speaker:But just because it's challenging doesn't mean it's not possible.
Speaker:It is possible and it is meant to be challenging because that challenge
Speaker:is meant to open our heart deeper.
Speaker:That challenge is meant for us to open deeper, to awaken, to heal, to commit
Speaker:and devote ourselves wholeheartedly, soulheartedly to this work.
Speaker:Because it truly is the most sacred and most important work there is.
Speaker:Fuck, I missed the podcasting.
Speaker:How long has it been, a year?
Speaker:I don't know exactly?
Speaker:Eight moms or maybe even longer.
Speaker:My God, I miss the podcasting.
Speaker:It just feels amazing.
Speaker:This is raw.
Speaker:This is deep.
Speaker:In my programs obviously, and workshops, and often that I go much deeper
Speaker:because there are provide the entire framework, the practices and all of it.
Speaker:That's the next level.
Speaker:But here in the podcasts from all my social medias and free content,
Speaker:that's where I go the deepest, so I thank you for listening to the end.
Speaker:I think you for being here, I thank you for opening your heart
Speaker:and being devoted to this work.
Speaker:And I invite you to just commit and devote yourself even deeper because
Speaker:then your life becomes limitless.
Speaker:Thank you for listening to this episode.
Speaker:Please share this with someone who needs to hear this.
Speaker:And if you want to learn more about what I talked specifically today, then
Speaker:I invited or click on the notes or head over to lorinkrenn.com, and check out our
Speaker:Polarity program, to learn more about it.
Speaker:And if it aligns, to apply.
Speaker:We look forward to receiving your application.
Speaker:Thank you for being here and until next time.
