Episode 71

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Published on:

25th Mar 2022

The Myth That Passion Fades With Time

Have you ever heard that in a long-term relationship, love and passion fades with time? In this episode, Lorin reveals that in fact, the longer you are in a relationship, the more love and passion you can experience.

Transcript
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Have you ever heard that in a long-term relationship, it is normal that the

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love and passion fades with time?

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Well, it's a myth, a myth I'm going to unravel.

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I'm going to talk about why this could not be farther away from the truth.

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Because the longer you are in a relationship, the more love

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and passion you can actually experience, and why this myth is so

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widespread and where it comes from.

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My name is Lorin Krenn and I'm the host of this podcast.

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My mission is to help people utilize the power of masculine and feminine polarity

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and experience deep and healthy intimacy.

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Let's drop in

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Growing up, we are modeled dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships.

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Unfortunately, this is the norm and it tends to start with our parents.

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This dwindles, our natural fire, our natural yearning, our natural passion

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to experience love, to experience deep intimacy in a relationship.

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I remember growing up and hearing things such as love is just the

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chemical cocktail in your brain.

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It doesn't exist.

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Or relationships are always suffering.

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Or another one, enjoy your freedom in your intimate life as much as you can

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while it lasts, because when you settle, well, then you're no longer going to

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experience the sense of adventure, excitement, and passionate love.

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All of these, and there are so many other limiting narratives

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that I'm sure you have heard.

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And even if you don't remember, we pick these things up as we

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grow up as children, right?

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As children, our parents, or to people close to us, the way they show up in

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relationships are our first teachers.

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And we are not able as children to discern whether that's a great

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teacher or a dysfunctional teacher.

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And most of the time it's a dysfunctional teacher, then you might even see

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right now, wow but my parents, they always work together and that's great.

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That's important, right?

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But if they were just together but there was no connection, there was

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no intimacy, then you pick the.

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We can feel that.

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It's not just about being together and staying together.

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It is about constantly nurturing and deepening their connection,

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the intimacy, love and polarity.

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But back to the examples I've just given.

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Love is just a chemical cocktail in your brain.

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It doesn't exist.

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Relationships are always suffering.

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I'm going to give you a harsh truth.

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All of these things are said by people who have never experienced deep intimacy.

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Who've never experienced intimacy that touches the heart.

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That touches the soul.

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That feels like home.

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That feels like a warmth in your empower body.

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The feeling of finally arriving.

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You cannot put a name, a label to it.

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But it just does feel like home.

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It does feel like your natural state of being, your most innocent

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self, your most truthful self.

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All of the people who say this are saying this because they're suffering

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and they have given up on the yearning deep inside their heart because

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no one grows up, comes into his world and just says, you know what?

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I give up on love.

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I give up on relationships.

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This shit doesn't exist.

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No one does that.

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This is learned fucking behavior.

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And I feel compassion for those who say these things because it's

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a miserable reality to be in.

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It's only suffering.

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Because true suffering is to give up on love, is to give up on that deepest,

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innocent, most truthful yearning inside our heart, inside our soul.

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This is why we came here.

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I believe whole heartedly.

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We came on this earth to realize ourselves in union to heal, to awaken,

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to experience the deepest states of joy and love in union with another soul.

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Because in union, we're not only mirrored our soul's beauty, but also our

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wounding, how our trauma is impacting our now reality, our habitual patterns

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of closing, shutting down our body.

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Disconnecting, shutting down from the love, from the deep intimacy that

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is available to us in each moment.

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And growing up, we hear these things and this becomes deeply

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ingrained within our subconscious.

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Instead of being more.

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That by consistently working on a relationship, putting in the effort,

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committing whole heartedly, soulheartedly, I just made that word up, doesn't exist

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I believe, that our relationship, if we put it into work, it can become the

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most powerful and empowering container.

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The most powerful experience in this human life.

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We're not told that.

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We're almost told to give.

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And that it doesn't work.

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Now, why does this myth even exist that love and passion fades with time?

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And then when you settle, it gets fucking boring after a while?

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The answer is very simple.

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It is brutal again, but the reason why people believe these things that it

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gets boring and all of that, is because most people have not reached a level

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of consciousness in the wakening or healing, where they're able to step out

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of their habitual patterns, conditioning, pain, and suffering, and are able to

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consciously create intimacy, sieze the spontaneous at the, of the present moment.

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Because you create, you decide or create the destiny and future

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of your relationship in the now.

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It's very, very simple.

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What you do from moment to moment on, in this very second, whether

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you are in a relationship or in your future relationship, decides

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the fate of your relationship.

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And if you are not putting in the effort, if you are not doing the

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work then, well, you are creating a dysfunctional relationship and you're

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going to get stuck in your habitual patterns of closing, withdrawing

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your love disconnecting from your partner, but more about it in a second.

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Another reason why this myth exists is because we're so stuck in our hand, stack

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in our identity, in our limited stories of suffering, that we are unlovable,

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that we are not good enough, that when people get to really know us, they

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won't like us, that we're bad, that it will, that they will always abandon us.

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We all in some shape or form suffer from these stories because

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of wounding we have experienced.

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But if you're only there, then what happens is you are no longer able to

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feel that deeply intimate and emotional experience that arises when you are

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intimate, physically, emotionally, spiritually, with another being.

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When you hug your partner or future partner, when you kiss them, when

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they are just next to you, that is a deeply, deeply intimate experience.

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You might think now what the fuck is Lorin talking about?

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But this is because we're numbed out, because let me tell you this.

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Your body, your heart is ever responding to your partner.

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So let's say your partner loves you.

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You will love them in each moment you can feel these love.

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You can feel their love, they're next to you, they're

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hugging you, they're with you.

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And this creates a state of joy, euphoria, ecstasy, love and passion.

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And guess what?

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This only invites more.

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More intimacy, more trust, more safety, more love.

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But we are numbed out from that.

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Let's go deeper into this hour.

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Is the vessel, the conduit for which intimacy, polarity and love flow through.

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It is the instrument for us to receive love, to give love and

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to experience and feel love.

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If you're stuck in your head, I like to say this, all you

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have is a mental construct of intimacy and of a relationship.

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But when you're in your body, you can actually experience a relationship.

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You can experience intimacy, you can experience love.

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But of course, if you're in your mind, you can't.

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And that is why a lot of people think they fall out of love, but they have

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actually just completely lost awareness of their inner world, of their heart,

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of the intimate nature of being with another person, being involved with them,

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physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

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We lose awareness of our body, of our deepest internal world.

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I also like to say the body is the truth, of course, unless it's

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hijacked by the shadow, but that's another topic for another time.

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Now, there's a saying that goes also one of the other reasons why

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this myth exists, there is a saying that says, monkey see, monkey do.

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And this is what we do.

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This is what we do in relationships.

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We see 90, well I don't want to say 99% of the time because that's of course

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not the accurate statistic of that.

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But what I mean by that is mostly around us we see dysfunctional relationships.

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And if you don't see that, then you're one of the few.

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And that's amazing because that gives you such a jumpstart into this.

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Being able to do this.

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But the norm is that most of what we see around us is dysfunctional.

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And a deep universal truth is that I've come across, and this is something that

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I've meditated a lot about and, and found a lot about into, we humans, if

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we don't see something being modelled, we have difficulties to believe

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it and difficulties to create it.

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So this is our challenge, and this is my challenge to you.

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You who are, who is invested in this work, you need to be the role model.

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You need to be the one that ventures into uncertainty, that carves

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the path for others to follow.

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That is my intention for you, because you won't see a lot of people who

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are going to mirror you that work.

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You won't see a lot of unions, a sacred union where both have realized

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themselves to a degree where all they experience is an ever deepening of

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love, intimacy, polarity, trust, and safety doesn't mean they're perfect.

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Even the most to awaken people experienced arguments, experience,

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tension, experience friction, because two different minds collide, cultural

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beliefs, different beliefs, different upbringing, blah, blah, all of that stuff.

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But what I'm saying is, well, you're not getting that often.

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You don't see that often.

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And then we have difficulties to believe it.

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But what I'm seeing is you have to trust something deeper.

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You don't have to see it around you.

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You just have to feel this yearning in your heart.

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Another truth is the longer you are in a relationship.

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The deeper, the love should be.

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Now I'm careful with my language here.

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We shouldn't talk in this should be this way because that's very

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guilting and shaming kind of language.

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You should be feeling this, aw you're a bad, you're not fit.

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No, this is not what I mean by that.

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But what I'm meaning is that when both are putting in the effort and

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are going all the way, then they have the ability they can experience,

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and this is what is meant for us.

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This is what the universe intends for us, an ever deepening of love,

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passion, intimacy, and polarity.

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Our relationship at the deepest level is meant to become the

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evolution of consciousness.

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Consciousness is always evolving, is always deepening or expanding

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is a better word, potentially.

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And your relationship, if you want to be in highest alignment, if

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you want to experience a deepest love, passion, intimacy, well,

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you have to evolve together.

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And when you do that, you become almost so to speak the evolution or the embodiment

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of the highest universal purpose.

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And that is an incredible feeling.

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It's beyond a feeling, and this is exactly why we're doing the work.

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So in the end, as you see here, you're seeing that I'm pointing

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to work something deeper.

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This is not just about experiencing deeper love and intimacy.

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This is intertwined with your awakening journey, with your healing journey.

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And I'm going to teach more about all of these things, how you can access

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the deepest truth of your body, can access the infinite possibilities

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of creating love, intimacy, evoking, the deepest love in each moment with

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your energy in my Polarity program.

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Our next round is starting on the 22nd of May.

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2022.

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This is our most exclusive program, for live calls, embodiment practices,

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written modules, and a small group of like-minded and powerful seekers.

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And this is where your masculine or feminine identified,

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or a single or a couple.

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I'll show you step-by-step how you can experience and create the deepest,

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polarity and intimacy humanly possible.

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Evoke the deepest love available to you in each moment.

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We've just opened the doors.

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You can head over to lorinkrenn.com or click on the show notes and click

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on the first link to learn more and to apply if it aligns with you.

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Now, what do you need to do in order to make sure that this myth, that

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relationship become boring, which ultimately just means that we're stuck in

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our shadow, stuck in our habitual patterns of suffering shutdown, withdrawal.

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What do we need to do in order to make sure this doesn't happen, in order to make

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our deepest heart yearning our reality?

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Now the first step is that you need to look at your relationship in an

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entirely different way or your future relationship or your intimate life.

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You need to step out of the stories and limiting beliefs

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you carry with you, right?

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Because when you are, and it's so important, listen carefully here, if

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you have that limiting belief and story in your head, well, my partner is going

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to leave me anyway and I'm unlovable and the deeper we get together, the

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more they will realize I'm bad, you are in that moment when you're stuck in a

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story, cut off from the possibility of creating and evoking deep intimacy and

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creating deep connection in that moment.

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It sounds so simple but it isn't, because our stories, our suffering,

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our identifications are so strong.

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So the practice I'm going to give you here is the following.

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Interrupt the habitual patterns, interrupt the routine, right?

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Press your partner against you and kiss them passionately or whisper

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in their ear what you're going to do with them in the bedroom.

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Hug them, massage them, tell them a poem, whatever feels as your authentic

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truth interrupt the habitual patterns that habitual routine, the habitual

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patterns of shutdown, closing your heart, disconnecting, arguing, punishing your

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partner subconsciously for not meeting your childhood needs or not giving you

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validation, whereas our first practice is before we ask for a need to be met, to

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find out, okay, where are we coming from?

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Are we meeting these needs inside ourselves?

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Because paradoxically, when we meet and give ourselves that validation and love

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and compassion, our partner mirrors that.

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Because what we create in our internal world is reflected

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from our external world.

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Now, of course you have to get your needs met, and this is not always the

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case, but very often it is the case.

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Another topic for another time, I'm going astray here, because there are so many

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deep and beautiful things to go into.

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But the practice I'm going to give you here, interrupt the habitual

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patterns, and you won't believe how fucking powerful this is.

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This is life-changing.

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But be aware, it's so simple.

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It takes one second.

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Literally it takes one second to create the intimacy, but your shadow

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or your patterns or your suffering or your trauma stand in the way.

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Interrupt it.

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Interrupt it.

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Press your partner against you.

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Suddenly tell them how much you love them.

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Tell them three things you're grateful about in the relationship.

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Tell them free things you appreciated about them.

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Tell them how much you enjoy it and waking up that morning with them.

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And the more you do this, the more you naturally start to just do this.

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And also all these things build momentum, and this is so important.

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They build what I call the momentum of polarity, the momentum of deep intimacy.

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And guess to what that leads?

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It leads to the most ecstatic sex.

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It leads to eventually you both being erupted and overflowed with the yearning

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to ravish each other, to get as close as possible to each other's hearts and soul.

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It really is Ted simple.

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It's simple, but it's not easy.

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You have to build this momentum.

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And this momentum either works for you or against you.

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And if it works for you, then it's just going to invite this container,

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this co-created energy field you're creating is obviously just going to

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invite more intimacy, more trust, more safety, more polarity, more passion.

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But if that momentum works against you and all your experiences is

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habitual patterns of closing, arguing, tension, shutting down, punishing your

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partner for not meeting your needs that are very high chance you are

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not meeting inside yourself as well, then the momentum works against you.

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And then what you experienced is not ecstatic ex, sex is not deep intimacy,

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but you experience more closure.

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As I mentioned in the way of all of these are your traumas, your conditioning,

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your pain, or your limiting beliefs.

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That's why it's so challenging.

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But just because it's challenging doesn't mean it's not possible.

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It is possible and it is meant to be challenging because that challenge

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is meant to open our heart deeper.

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That challenge is meant for us to open deeper, to awaken, to heal, to commit

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and devote ourselves wholeheartedly, soulheartedly to this work.

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Because it truly is the most sacred and most important work there is.

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Fuck, I missed the podcasting.

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How long has it been, a year?

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I don't know exactly?

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Eight moms or maybe even longer.

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My God, I miss the podcasting.

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It just feels amazing.

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This is raw.

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This is deep.

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In my programs obviously, and workshops, and often that I go much deeper

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because there are provide the entire framework, the practices and all of it.

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That's the next level.

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But here in the podcasts from all my social medias and free content,

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that's where I go the deepest, so I thank you for listening to the end.

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I think you for being here, I thank you for opening your heart

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and being devoted to this work.

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And I invite you to just commit and devote yourself even deeper because

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then your life becomes limitless.

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Thank you for listening to this episode.

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Please share this with someone who needs to hear this.

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And if you want to learn more about what I talked specifically today, then

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I invited or click on the notes or head over to lorinkrenn.com, and check out our

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Polarity program, to learn more about it.

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And if it aligns, to apply.

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We look forward to receiving your application.

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Thank you for being here and until next time.

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About the Podcast

Masculine & Feminine Dynamics
Lorin Krenn is an internationally sought after teacher in the field of relationships who helps people embody their awakened masculine/awakened feminine in relationships & life. The Masculine & Feminine Dynamics Podcast focuses on relationship dynamics between the masculine and the feminine and how you can experience the deepest intimacy humanly possible and embody your authentic nature.