Episode 71

full
Published on:

25th Mar 2022

The Myth That Passion Fades With Time

Have you ever heard that in a long-term relationship, love and passion fades with time? In this episode, Lorin reveals that in fact, the longer you are in a relationship, the more love and passion you can experience.

Mentioned in this episode:

Evolve With Feminine Testing: Live workshop on April 7th A 2½ hour workshop for men and women to unlock the deepest intimacy and evolve into your highest self through feminine testing.

Transcript
Speaker:

Have you ever heard that in a long-term relationship, it is normal that the

Speaker:

love and passion fades with time?

Speaker:

Well, it's a myth, a myth I'm going to unravel.

Speaker:

I'm going to talk about why this could not be farther away from the truth.

Speaker:

Because the longer you are in a relationship, the more love

Speaker:

and passion you can actually experience, and why this myth is so

Speaker:

widespread and where it comes from.

Speaker:

My name is Lorin Krenn and I'm the host of this podcast.

Speaker:

My mission is to help people utilize the power of masculine and feminine polarity

Speaker:

and experience deep and healthy intimacy.

Speaker:

Let's drop in

Speaker:

Growing up, we are modeled dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships.

Speaker:

Unfortunately, this is the norm and it tends to start with our parents.

Speaker:

This dwindles, our natural fire, our natural yearning, our natural passion

Speaker:

to experience love, to experience deep intimacy in a relationship.

Speaker:

I remember growing up and hearing things such as love is just the

Speaker:

chemical cocktail in your brain.

Speaker:

It doesn't exist.

Speaker:

Or relationships are always suffering.

Speaker:

Or another one, enjoy your freedom in your intimate life as much as you can

Speaker:

while it lasts, because when you settle, well, then you're no longer going to

Speaker:

experience the sense of adventure, excitement, and passionate love.

Speaker:

All of these, and there are so many other limiting narratives

Speaker:

that I'm sure you have heard.

Speaker:

And even if you don't remember, we pick these things up as we

Speaker:

grow up as children, right?

Speaker:

As children, our parents, or to people close to us, the way they show up in

Speaker:

relationships are our first teachers.

Speaker:

And we are not able as children to discern whether that's a great

Speaker:

teacher or a dysfunctional teacher.

Speaker:

And most of the time it's a dysfunctional teacher, then you might even see

Speaker:

right now, wow but my parents, they always work together and that's great.

Speaker:

That's important, right?

Speaker:

But if they were just together but there was no connection, there was

Speaker:

no intimacy, then you pick the.

Speaker:

We can feel that.

Speaker:

It's not just about being together and staying together.

Speaker:

It is about constantly nurturing and deepening their connection,

Speaker:

the intimacy, love and polarity.

Speaker:

But back to the examples I've just given.

Speaker:

Love is just a chemical cocktail in your brain.

Speaker:

It doesn't exist.

Speaker:

Relationships are always suffering.

Speaker:

I'm going to give you a harsh truth.

Speaker:

All of these things are said by people who have never experienced deep intimacy.

Speaker:

Who've never experienced intimacy that touches the heart.

Speaker:

That touches the soul.

Speaker:

That feels like home.

Speaker:

That feels like a warmth in your empower body.

Speaker:

The feeling of finally arriving.

Speaker:

You cannot put a name, a label to it.

Speaker:

But it just does feel like home.

Speaker:

It does feel like your natural state of being, your most innocent

Speaker:

self, your most truthful self.

Speaker:

All of the people who say this are saying this because they're suffering

Speaker:

and they have given up on the yearning deep inside their heart because

Speaker:

no one grows up, comes into his world and just says, you know what?

Speaker:

I give up on love.

Speaker:

I give up on relationships.

Speaker:

This shit doesn't exist.

Speaker:

No one does that.

Speaker:

This is learned fucking behavior.

Speaker:

And I feel compassion for those who say these things because it's

Speaker:

a miserable reality to be in.

Speaker:

It's only suffering.

Speaker:

Because true suffering is to give up on love, is to give up on that deepest,

Speaker:

innocent, most truthful yearning inside our heart, inside our soul.

Speaker:

This is why we came here.

Speaker:

I believe whole heartedly.

Speaker:

We came on this earth to realize ourselves in union to heal, to awaken,

Speaker:

to experience the deepest states of joy and love in union with another soul.

Speaker:

Because in union, we're not only mirrored our soul's beauty, but also our

Speaker:

wounding, how our trauma is impacting our now reality, our habitual patterns

Speaker:

of closing, shutting down our body.

Speaker:

Disconnecting, shutting down from the love, from the deep intimacy that

Speaker:

is available to us in each moment.

Speaker:

And growing up, we hear these things and this becomes deeply

Speaker:

ingrained within our subconscious.

Speaker:

Instead of being more.

Speaker:

That by consistently working on a relationship, putting in the effort,

Speaker:

committing whole heartedly, soulheartedly, I just made that word up, doesn't exist

Speaker:

I believe, that our relationship, if we put it into work, it can become the

Speaker:

most powerful and empowering container.

Speaker:

The most powerful experience in this human life.

Speaker:

We're not told that.

Speaker:

We're almost told to give.

Speaker:

And that it doesn't work.

Speaker:

Now, why does this myth even exist that love and passion fades with time?

Speaker:

And then when you settle, it gets fucking boring after a while?

Speaker:

The answer is very simple.

Speaker:

It is brutal again, but the reason why people believe these things that it

Speaker:

gets boring and all of that, is because most people have not reached a level

Speaker:

of consciousness in the wakening or healing, where they're able to step out

Speaker:

of their habitual patterns, conditioning, pain, and suffering, and are able to

Speaker:

consciously create intimacy, sieze the spontaneous at the, of the present moment.

Speaker:

Because you create, you decide or create the destiny and future

Speaker:

of your relationship in the now.

Speaker:

It's very, very simple.

Speaker:

What you do from moment to moment on, in this very second, whether

Speaker:

you are in a relationship or in your future relationship, decides

Speaker:

the fate of your relationship.

Speaker:

And if you are not putting in the effort, if you are not doing the

Speaker:

work then, well, you are creating a dysfunctional relationship and you're

Speaker:

going to get stuck in your habitual patterns of closing, withdrawing

Speaker:

your love disconnecting from your partner, but more about it in a second.

Speaker:

Another reason why this myth exists is because we're so stuck in our hand, stack

Speaker:

in our identity, in our limited stories of suffering, that we are unlovable,

Speaker:

that we are not good enough, that when people get to really know us, they

Speaker:

won't like us, that we're bad, that it will, that they will always abandon us.

Speaker:

We all in some shape or form suffer from these stories because

Speaker:

of wounding we have experienced.

Speaker:

But if you're only there, then what happens is you are no longer able to

Speaker:

feel that deeply intimate and emotional experience that arises when you are

Speaker:

intimate, physically, emotionally, spiritually, with another being.

Speaker:

When you hug your partner or future partner, when you kiss them, when

Speaker:

they are just next to you, that is a deeply, deeply intimate experience.

Speaker:

You might think now what the fuck is Lorin talking about?

Speaker:

But this is because we're numbed out, because let me tell you this.

Speaker:

Your body, your heart is ever responding to your partner.

Speaker:

So let's say your partner loves you.

Speaker:

You will love them in each moment you can feel these love.

Speaker:

You can feel their love, they're next to you, they're

Speaker:

hugging you, they're with you.

Speaker:

And this creates a state of joy, euphoria, ecstasy, love and passion.

Speaker:

And guess what?

Speaker:

This only invites more.

Speaker:

More intimacy, more trust, more safety, more love.

Speaker:

But we are numbed out from that.

Speaker:

Let's go deeper into this hour.

Speaker:

Is the vessel, the conduit for which intimacy, polarity and love flow through.

Speaker:

It is the instrument for us to receive love, to give love and

Speaker:

to experience and feel love.

Speaker:

If you're stuck in your head, I like to say this, all you

Speaker:

have is a mental construct of intimacy and of a relationship.

Speaker:

But when you're in your body, you can actually experience a relationship.

Speaker:

You can experience intimacy, you can experience love.

Speaker:

But of course, if you're in your mind, you can't.

Speaker:

And that is why a lot of people think they fall out of love, but they have

Speaker:

actually just completely lost awareness of their inner world, of their heart,

Speaker:

of the intimate nature of being with another person, being involved with them,

Speaker:

physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Speaker:

We lose awareness of our body, of our deepest internal world.

Speaker:

I also like to say the body is the truth, of course, unless it's

Speaker:

hijacked by the shadow, but that's another topic for another time.

Speaker:

Now, there's a saying that goes also one of the other reasons why

Speaker:

this myth exists, there is a saying that says, monkey see, monkey do.

Speaker:

And this is what we do.

Speaker:

This is what we do in relationships.

Speaker:

We see 90, well I don't want to say 99% of the time because that's of course

Speaker:

not the accurate statistic of that.

Speaker:

But what I mean by that is mostly around us we see dysfunctional relationships.

Speaker:

And if you don't see that, then you're one of the few.

Speaker:

And that's amazing because that gives you such a jumpstart into this.

Speaker:

Being able to do this.

Speaker:

But the norm is that most of what we see around us is dysfunctional.

Speaker:

And a deep universal truth is that I've come across, and this is something that

Speaker:

I've meditated a lot about and, and found a lot about into, we humans, if

Speaker:

we don't see something being modelled, we have difficulties to believe

Speaker:

it and difficulties to create it.

Speaker:

So this is our challenge, and this is my challenge to you.

Speaker:

You who are, who is invested in this work, you need to be the role model.

Speaker:

You need to be the one that ventures into uncertainty, that carves

Speaker:

the path for others to follow.

Speaker:

That is my intention for you, because you won't see a lot of people who

Speaker:

are going to mirror you that work.

Speaker:

You won't see a lot of unions, a sacred union where both have realized

Speaker:

themselves to a degree where all they experience is an ever deepening of

Speaker:

love, intimacy, polarity, trust, and safety doesn't mean they're perfect.

Speaker:

Even the most to awaken people experienced arguments, experience,

Speaker:

tension, experience friction, because two different minds collide, cultural

Speaker:

beliefs, different beliefs, different upbringing, blah, blah, all of that stuff.

Speaker:

But what I'm saying is, well, you're not getting that often.

Speaker:

You don't see that often.

Speaker:

And then we have difficulties to believe it.

Speaker:

But what I'm seeing is you have to trust something deeper.

Speaker:

You don't have to see it around you.

Speaker:

You just have to feel this yearning in your heart.

Speaker:

Another truth is the longer you are in a relationship.

Speaker:

The deeper, the love should be.

Speaker:

Now I'm careful with my language here.

Speaker:

We shouldn't talk in this should be this way because that's very

Speaker:

guilting and shaming kind of language.

Speaker:

You should be feeling this, aw you're a bad, you're not fit.

Speaker:

No, this is not what I mean by that.

Speaker:

But what I'm meaning is that when both are putting in the effort and

Speaker:

are going all the way, then they have the ability they can experience,

Speaker:

and this is what is meant for us.

Speaker:

This is what the universe intends for us, an ever deepening of love,

Speaker:

passion, intimacy, and polarity.

Speaker:

Our relationship at the deepest level is meant to become the

Speaker:

evolution of consciousness.

Speaker:

Consciousness is always evolving, is always deepening or expanding

Speaker:

is a better word, potentially.

Speaker:

And your relationship, if you want to be in highest alignment, if

Speaker:

you want to experience a deepest love, passion, intimacy, well,

Speaker:

you have to evolve together.

Speaker:

And when you do that, you become almost so to speak the evolution or the embodiment

Speaker:

of the highest universal purpose.

Speaker:

And that is an incredible feeling.

Speaker:

It's beyond a feeling, and this is exactly why we're doing the work.

Speaker:

So in the end, as you see here, you're seeing that I'm pointing

Speaker:

to work something deeper.

Speaker:

This is not just about experiencing deeper love and intimacy.

Speaker:

This is intertwined with your awakening journey, with your healing journey.

Speaker:

And I'm going to teach more about all of these things, how you can access

Speaker:

the deepest truth of your body, can access the infinite possibilities

Speaker:

of creating love, intimacy, evoking, the deepest love in each moment with

Speaker:

your energy in my Polarity program.

Speaker:

Our next round is starting on the 22nd of May.

Speaker:

2022.

Speaker:

This is our most exclusive program, for live calls, embodiment practices,

Speaker:

written modules, and a small group of like-minded and powerful seekers.

Speaker:

And this is where your masculine or feminine identified,

Speaker:

or a single or a couple.

Speaker:

I'll show you step-by-step how you can experience and create the deepest,

Speaker:

polarity and intimacy humanly possible.

Speaker:

Evoke the deepest love available to you in each moment.

Speaker:

We've just opened the doors.

Speaker:

You can head over to lorinkrenn.com or click on the show notes and click

Speaker:

on the first link to learn more and to apply if it aligns with you.

Speaker:

Now, what do you need to do in order to make sure that this myth, that

Speaker:

relationship become boring, which ultimately just means that we're stuck in

Speaker:

our shadow, stuck in our habitual patterns of suffering shutdown, withdrawal.

Speaker:

What do we need to do in order to make sure this doesn't happen, in order to make

Speaker:

our deepest heart yearning our reality?

Speaker:

Now the first step is that you need to look at your relationship in an

Speaker:

entirely different way or your future relationship or your intimate life.

Speaker:

You need to step out of the stories and limiting beliefs

Speaker:

you carry with you, right?

Speaker:

Because when you are, and it's so important, listen carefully here, if

Speaker:

you have that limiting belief and story in your head, well, my partner is going

Speaker:

to leave me anyway and I'm unlovable and the deeper we get together, the

Speaker:

more they will realize I'm bad, you are in that moment when you're stuck in a

Speaker:

story, cut off from the possibility of creating and evoking deep intimacy and

Speaker:

creating deep connection in that moment.

Speaker:

It sounds so simple but it isn't, because our stories, our suffering,

Speaker:

our identifications are so strong.

Speaker:

So the practice I'm going to give you here is the following.

Speaker:

Interrupt the habitual patterns, interrupt the routine, right?

Speaker:

Press your partner against you and kiss them passionately or whisper

Speaker:

in their ear what you're going to do with them in the bedroom.

Speaker:

Hug them, massage them, tell them a poem, whatever feels as your authentic

Speaker:

truth interrupt the habitual patterns that habitual routine, the habitual

Speaker:

patterns of shutdown, closing your heart, disconnecting, arguing, punishing your

Speaker:

partner subconsciously for not meeting your childhood needs or not giving you

Speaker:

validation, whereas our first practice is before we ask for a need to be met, to

Speaker:

find out, okay, where are we coming from?

Speaker:

Are we meeting these needs inside ourselves?

Speaker:

Because paradoxically, when we meet and give ourselves that validation and love

Speaker:

and compassion, our partner mirrors that.

Speaker:

Because what we create in our internal world is reflected

Speaker:

from our external world.

Speaker:

Now, of course you have to get your needs met, and this is not always the

Speaker:

case, but very often it is the case.

Speaker:

Another topic for another time, I'm going astray here, because there are so many

Speaker:

deep and beautiful things to go into.

Speaker:

But the practice I'm going to give you here, interrupt the habitual

Speaker:

patterns, and you won't believe how fucking powerful this is.

Speaker:

This is life-changing.

Speaker:

But be aware, it's so simple.

Speaker:

It takes one second.

Speaker:

Literally it takes one second to create the intimacy, but your shadow

Speaker:

or your patterns or your suffering or your trauma stand in the way.

Speaker:

Interrupt it.

Speaker:

Interrupt it.

Speaker:

Press your partner against you.

Speaker:

Suddenly tell them how much you love them.

Speaker:

Tell them three things you're grateful about in the relationship.

Speaker:

Tell them free things you appreciated about them.

Speaker:

Tell them how much you enjoy it and waking up that morning with them.

Speaker:

And the more you do this, the more you naturally start to just do this.

Speaker:

And also all these things build momentum, and this is so important.

Speaker:

They build what I call the momentum of polarity, the momentum of deep intimacy.

Speaker:

And guess to what that leads?

Speaker:

It leads to the most ecstatic sex.

Speaker:

It leads to eventually you both being erupted and overflowed with the yearning

Speaker:

to ravish each other, to get as close as possible to each other's hearts and soul.

Speaker:

It really is Ted simple.

Speaker:

It's simple, but it's not easy.

Speaker:

You have to build this momentum.

Speaker:

And this momentum either works for you or against you.

Speaker:

And if it works for you, then it's just going to invite this container,

Speaker:

this co-created energy field you're creating is obviously just going to

Speaker:

invite more intimacy, more trust, more safety, more polarity, more passion.

Speaker:

But if that momentum works against you and all your experiences is

Speaker:

habitual patterns of closing, arguing, tension, shutting down, punishing your

Speaker:

partner for not meeting your needs that are very high chance you are

Speaker:

not meeting inside yourself as well, then the momentum works against you.

Speaker:

And then what you experienced is not ecstatic ex, sex is not deep intimacy,

Speaker:

but you experience more closure.

Speaker:

As I mentioned in the way of all of these are your traumas, your conditioning,

Speaker:

your pain, or your limiting beliefs.

Speaker:

That's why it's so challenging.

Speaker:

But just because it's challenging doesn't mean it's not possible.

Speaker:

It is possible and it is meant to be challenging because that challenge

Speaker:

is meant to open our heart deeper.

Speaker:

That challenge is meant for us to open deeper, to awaken, to heal, to commit

Speaker:

and devote ourselves wholeheartedly, soulheartedly to this work.

Speaker:

Because it truly is the most sacred and most important work there is.

Speaker:

Fuck, I missed the podcasting.

Speaker:

How long has it been, a year?

Speaker:

I don't know exactly?

Speaker:

Eight moms or maybe even longer.

Speaker:

My God, I miss the podcasting.

Speaker:

It just feels amazing.

Speaker:

This is raw.

Speaker:

This is deep.

Speaker:

In my programs obviously, and workshops, and often that I go much deeper

Speaker:

because there are provide the entire framework, the practices and all of it.

Speaker:

That's the next level.

Speaker:

But here in the podcasts from all my social medias and free content,

Speaker:

that's where I go the deepest, so I thank you for listening to the end.

Speaker:

I think you for being here, I thank you for opening your heart

Speaker:

and being devoted to this work.

Speaker:

And I invite you to just commit and devote yourself even deeper because

Speaker:

then your life becomes limitless.

Speaker:

Thank you for listening to this episode.

Speaker:

Please share this with someone who needs to hear this.

Speaker:

And if you want to learn more about what I talked specifically today, then

Speaker:

I invited or click on the notes or head over to lorinkrenn.com, and check out our

Speaker:

Polarity program, to learn more about it.

Speaker:

And if it aligns, to apply.

Speaker:

We look forward to receiving your application.

Speaker:

Thank you for being here and until next time.

Show artwork for Masculine & Feminine Dynamics

About the Podcast

Masculine & Feminine Dynamics
Lorin Krenn is an internationally sought after teacher in the field of relationships who helps people embody their awakened masculine/awakened feminine in relationships & life. The Masculine & Feminine Dynamics Podcast focuses on relationship dynamics between the masculine and the feminine and how you can experience the deepest intimacy humanly possible and embody your authentic nature.