Empaths & Relationships: How to Love Without Losing Yourself
Empaths face a big challenge in relationships – they feel deeply but can lose themselves by giving too much to others who don’t give back the same way. This can leave them drained, disconnected, and stuck in unhealthy dynamics.
Sensitivity is a gift, but it needs to be used wisely. We need to set boundaries, protect our energy, and focus on relationships where love and care are mutual. To create alignment in our lives, we need to meet people where they are.
If someone consistently leaves you feeling empty, it might be time to create space for healthier relationships. Protecting our energy isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for showing up fully in the world.
Mentioned in this episode:
Healing Your Relationship with the Masculine
A 4-week immersive program for women, starting 2nd March 2025
Discerning Narcissists in Relationships
A 2½-hour workshop to recognize and break free from toxic dynamics
Transcript
In today's episode, I'm going to share with you the Empath's Guide
Speaker:to Relationships to be specific, how to Love without losing
Speaker:yourself in the process, without abandoning yourself in the process.
Speaker:It is a true paradox.
Speaker:People who are highly empathetic have an incredible gift, because they're very
Speaker:sensitive and attuned to the suffering and the energy of others around them.
Speaker:This is a gift, always, and yet many people who are highly empathetic, they
Speaker:struggle, they actually find themselves in unhealthy relationship dynamics.
Speaker:They struggle with setting boundaries.
Speaker:They struggle with being in dynamics where they're overgiving
Speaker:perhaps, or even they struggle in total toxic dynamics.
Speaker:Being in toxic dynamics or even.
Speaker:Being in a relationship with a narcissist.
Speaker:How can that be?
Speaker:How can something that is supposed to be an incredible gift?
Speaker:Because.
Speaker:Interestingly, people who are more awakened, people who are at a higher
Speaker:state of consciousness, they are able to be much more empathetic.
Speaker:Empathy is an incredible gift because it shows that you are able to step
Speaker:beyond self-centeredness and the selfishness of only trying to meet
Speaker:your own needs in this life, but you are able to truly relate, feel
Speaker:in to the experience of others.
Speaker:This is an unbelievable gift that has the ability to take your relationships
Speaker:to the deepest depth, any relationship, friendship, business relationship,
Speaker:specifically your intimate relationship.
Speaker:However, because there's so many misconceptions and myths around
Speaker:this topic, and because no one has really learned how to harness
Speaker:this gift in the most powerful way possible, it actually creates more
Speaker:suffering for most people who are empaths or who are highly empathetic.
Speaker:So in this episode, we're gonna go to the core.
Speaker:I'm gonna show you why this is the greatest gift you could ever have.
Speaker:And I'm also going to show you how you can free yourself and what you
Speaker:need to do to break free from any unhealthy dynamics, and also how you
Speaker:can prevent them from happening again.
Speaker:Welcome to the Masculine and Feminine Dynamics podcast.
Speaker:My name is Lorin Krenn and I'm an author, coach, and hypnotherapist.
Speaker:I help you to understand masculine and feminine dynamics.
Speaker:Let's dive in.
Speaker:Many people who are highly empathetic struggle in relationships, not
Speaker:because they love too much, but because they believe that everyone
Speaker:else loves the same way that they do.
Speaker:There is no such thing as loving too much.
Speaker:Love is infinite.
Speaker:There is always more love to experience, just as there is always more gratitude,
Speaker:abundance, beauty, wonder, and magic to experience in this life.
Speaker:So having established that foundation, it's not that empaths love too much.
Speaker:You are here to love boundlessly and infinitely.
Speaker:It's, they project onto others naively that they love in
Speaker:the same way that they do.
Speaker:You see, when you are in a conscious relationship and you give without
Speaker:expectation, and you give and give, and give selflessly, and you feel
Speaker:into the experience of the other, and you are there and you support
Speaker:them, then what's going to happen?
Speaker:You are going to receive infinitely back.
Speaker:Because being in a conscious relationship means the other
Speaker:person is doing the same.
Speaker:One is not the giver and the other the taker.
Speaker:Both let go of any sense of transactional view of relationships.
Speaker:They have transcended transactional view of relationships, and this
Speaker:is what it means to be in a place of conscious relating.
Speaker:The problem is that when an empath is in a relationship or any
Speaker:relationship, truly, specifically intimate relationship, where they
Speaker:are giving love as if the other person is doing the same, and that's
Speaker:where all the challenges happen.
Speaker:Because the other person might be a taker.
Speaker:The other person might have not yet reached a level of consciousness where
Speaker:they are able to see beyond their own self-centeredness and own selfishness.
Speaker:aka their own ego.
Speaker:All they see the world is spinning around me, how do I get my needs met?
Speaker:At worst, these are narcissists people who are controlling, deliberately
Speaker:manipulating, changing narratives only to get their own needs met.
Speaker:It is a truly pathetic and miserable way of living, and it also reveals a
Speaker:very low level of consciousness, almost a very primal level of consciousness.
Speaker:A primal an animal.
Speaker:And an animals are wonderful divine wonders, but an animal is in a
Speaker:way, a slave of their instincts.
Speaker:As incredible divine as my dog is, when I give her food, she
Speaker:becomes unconscious, right?
Speaker:She's like, oh my God, gimme that food, right?
Speaker:Bless her beautiful soul.
Speaker:I mean, she really wants the food and this instinct is just taking over.
Speaker:But you see, we humans, although most humans don't emod this by the
Speaker:way, but we humans have the gift of being able to see beyond our own,
Speaker:our own kind of primal instincts.
Speaker:But those people who are highly empathetic, essentially have reached
Speaker:a level of consciousness where they are able to see beyond their own
Speaker:self-centeredness and trying to just get their selfish needs met.
Speaker:In this world.
Speaker:And it's important that you have needs, and it is important that you
Speaker:get your needs met or you are in places where your needs are being met.
Speaker:But life is more than that.
Speaker:Life is more than just you and your needs.
Speaker:Life is divine.
Speaker:There is so much more.
Speaker:So being highly empathetic means that by nature you are more awakened.
Speaker:You have reached a certain level of consciousness where you've gone
Speaker:beyond your own ego, so to speak.
Speaker:The challenge is when you don't know what to do with this gift and you are
Speaker:not harnessing a level of conscious in the right way, because the moment you
Speaker:project this level of consciousness onto others, meaning they are also operating
Speaker:from this place, is the moment where you no longer meet people where they are at.
Speaker:You see, when you believe in a naive worldview that everyone loves in the
Speaker:same way that you do, then you're not meeting people where they are.
Speaker:You are meeting people where you think they should be.
Speaker:And there is a problem with that.
Speaker:Because people who haven't gone beyond their own, only about them, specifically
Speaker:narcissists in this context, they are going to take advantage of you
Speaker:loving them and holding them in a standard as if they were just like you.
Speaker:And so many people struggle with it.
Speaker:They're like, oh, if I open my heart, if I become more conscious, if I awaken
Speaker:more, then everything is just love and I just need to be in my heart and, and
Speaker:just, but it's not as simple as that.
Speaker:Yes, of course you want to be in your heart as much as you
Speaker:want to be, but it also means meeting others where they are at.
Speaker:And with certain people to meet them.
Speaker:You have to protect yourself.
Speaker:You have to have strong boundaries.
Speaker:You have to make sure you are not letting down your guard.
Speaker:And this is what happens to so many empaths.
Speaker:They're letting down their guard.
Speaker:You can still be rooted in your heart, but still be fierce and set boundaries.
Speaker:Empaths often struggle with the discomfort of having to set
Speaker:boundaries, with the discomfort of realizing that other people
Speaker:might be takers, and not givers.
Speaker:Then many empires have the uncanny ability to put their head in
Speaker:the sand and to hope that things will just resolve themselves
Speaker:if they have more empathy, more compassion and love, deeper.
Speaker:But the opposite happens.
Speaker:It's almost like digging a deeper grave, more pain, more suffering, and
Speaker:people take more advantage of them.
Speaker:A spiritually grounded approach is the realization that
Speaker:not everyone is an empath.
Speaker:Not everyone, and actually most people.
Speaker:Have not reached a level of consciousness where they can relate in
Speaker:the way that you are relating to others.
Speaker:So in order to meet people where they're at, you have to be real
Speaker:and truthful with how they are treating you and where they are at.
Speaker:An empath is not just someone who feels deeply.
Speaker:It is someone who is so attuned to other people's emotion,
Speaker:to the energy of others.
Speaker:So let's get really practical here.
Speaker:Let's define the very specific key challenges and limiting
Speaker:beliefs that keep empath stuck.
Speaker:And then I will get very practical on how you can step into your highest
Speaker:power and actually use and harness your sensitivity, empathy, and compassion
Speaker:for the world and for others in a way that allows you to step more into
Speaker:your power, to reclaim your power, and to create the reality that you
Speaker:truly desire deep down to create,
Speaker:Number one, the world feels unjust.
Speaker:To people who are highly empathetic, the world feels unjust.
Speaker:There is a realization that there are things happening in this
Speaker:world that are simply not fair, at least from our perspective
Speaker:right now, in being in this life.
Speaker:Why do people take advantage of kindness?
Speaker:Why do narcissists or self-centered people manipulate
Speaker:others and get away with it?
Speaker:So there is a sense of focusing heavily on the injustice
Speaker:and unfairness of the world.
Speaker:Where your focus goes, your energy goes, and where your
Speaker:energy goes, everything grows.
Speaker:I just said it a bit differently, this is not my saying.
Speaker:It's a very cliche saying, but it really is true.
Speaker:What you focus on, you will experience more of.
Speaker:So if you're constantly focused on the unfairness and injustice in the
Speaker:world, which is a fact, it is unjust or unfair, at least from our current
Speaker:perspective, when we look at what's happening in the world, specifically
Speaker:for those who are suffering from great, great tragedies in this life,
Speaker:it's, it's, it's truly horrendous what people are going through.
Speaker:And to live in a world where essentially so much suffering is happening at the
Speaker:same time, if that is where you place your focus, you are not going to be
Speaker:able to fully step into your power, and what can also happen is that you operate
Speaker:from a worldview at a suffer, so why should I be deeply fulfilled, abundant,
Speaker:and experienced bliss right now?
Speaker:So just tune in with yourself and check in whether there is
Speaker:some form of limiting belief here that keeps you stuck.
Speaker:You are here to experience the highest love and highest abundance.
Speaker:Be there for others, support others, but you can't pour from an empty cup.
Speaker:By you limiting yourself, you are not supporting anyone.
Speaker:By you stepping into a reality of the highest love and abundance,
Speaker:that's when you can truly support and make a change in the
Speaker:collective suffering of the world.
Speaker:Number two, many empires give without limits.
Speaker:Without limits, meaning there are no boundaries.
Speaker:Many people were highly empathetic and compassionate, they pour endlessly
Speaker:their love, their soul, their heart, into relationships, assuming that the
Speaker:more they give, the more the other person will meet them in the same way.,
Speaker:But as described as before, with the right person, the more
Speaker:you give, the more you get.
Speaker:With the wrong person, the more you give, the more you will be
Speaker:drained, and the more they zap and take and drain your energy.
Speaker:When you feel deeply drained from certain encounters, then it very often
Speaker:is a sign that you are giving your heart and soul and pouring it into a
Speaker:container where there is no reciprocity.
Speaker:Instead, you are being zapped.
Speaker:It's almost like a, a, a virus on a computer that is zapping
Speaker:the energy, the power of the, of the, of the machine ultimately.
Speaker:And here, the same thing is going on with your energy.
Speaker:It's like when you are an empath, but then you are with someone who is a
Speaker:taker, who is very self-centered, or who, who is still stuck at a certain
Speaker:level of consciousness where they cannot relate in a truly conscious
Speaker:and selfless way, then essentially your energy is going to be zapped.
Speaker:You are going to feel disconnected from yourself.
Speaker:You are not going to feel in your true power.
Speaker:The idea that empaths are much more drained by everyday
Speaker:life in the world is flawed.
Speaker:Empaths are drained by the wrong people and energized by the right people.
Speaker:What this means is, as an empath, you are more sensitive and attuned
Speaker:to the energy of others, and that means you are going to experience
Speaker:it much more powerfully when you are in the presence of someone's
Speaker:energy that is not in alignment.
Speaker:Someone who is a taker, someone who has a dark presence, that they
Speaker:bring, someone who has a lot of trauma, who has a lot of wounding.
Speaker:That's going to feel much more draining to you.
Speaker:It's not that you are being drained more, it is that you are more
Speaker:attuned and sensitive and aware of how you are being drained.
Speaker:Other people are simply more numbed out to that experience.
Speaker:Disconnect, things are not in alignment, they don't fit it as strongly,
Speaker:because they are numbed out to that experience, they're not attuned.
Speaker:You are attuned.
Speaker:And that is a gift.
Speaker:It's a gift because it means that you have the ability
Speaker:to treat it for what it is.
Speaker:Guidance, higher guidance communicating with you.
Speaker:Not that you have to leave, break up or whatever, but that something
Speaker:might need to change in your approach in that relationship.
Speaker:And if nothing changes and you try everything, then to let go in love
Speaker:to release the energetic ties.
Speaker:Another challenge that empaths experience is that they
Speaker:often feel like an outsider.
Speaker:Because you see example, you are in a group dynamic and you start
Speaker:to notice that someone enters the group dynamic who has a really dark
Speaker:presence to them that's actually, in a way, completely disturbing the
Speaker:group dynamic, and you can feel that.
Speaker:But as an empath, what is obvious to you is often oblivious to others.
Speaker:You feel it so deeply, and when you make people aware of it, they might
Speaker:say, wow, you're overreacting and not a big deal, and you just, you know.
Speaker:And, and you feel deeply misunderstood.
Speaker:You feel deeply unseen by others, and, and you feel like the outsider,
Speaker:but quite, in fact, you are seeing what is really happening.
Speaker:And that can then push you out of situations where you might lose good
Speaker:friends or relationships or experiences where you have to let go of things
Speaker:that, that are very, very dear to you.
Speaker:simply because no one really saw what you saw and what was so obvious to you,
Speaker:it's not that it, people don't see you, that you are weird or awkward.
Speaker:It's that you see the obvious, which is oblivious to others.
Speaker:Because they haven't reached this level of consciousness yet.
Speaker:And this is another reason why people who awaken often feel like outsiders.
Speaker:You feel like an outsider because you are awakening from the realization
Speaker:that what is perceived as normal is actually a state of deep
Speaker:unconsciousness and deep dysfunction.
Speaker:In fact, you are not an outsider.
Speaker:You are actually returning to your natural state of being.
Speaker:But if not that many people do that, then it will feel like
Speaker:being an outsider and being unseen and being misunderstood.
Speaker:And the last challenge here before I go in depth, into how you can
Speaker:reclaim your power as an empath is losing yourself in relationships.
Speaker:That's the challenge I mentioned at the beginning.
Speaker:It's that self abandonment without realizing it, getting lost in the
Speaker:suffering of others and being, and again, when we enter the
Speaker:realms of being too empathetic, too compassionate, what it really
Speaker:is is actually you disconnecting from the gift of your empathy and
Speaker:trying to avoid the discomfort of having to set strong boundaries
Speaker:or potentially having to let go.
Speaker:Because here again, as an empath, you feel so deeply, so setting boundaries
Speaker:means you will feel deeply the pain and the disappointment or whatever
Speaker:trigger the other person is experiencing when you set that boundary, when
Speaker:you are being too empathetic, you're stepping out of empathy, you're
Speaker:stepping out of your power, and what is called as too empathetic is actually
Speaker:you trying to avoid discomfort.
Speaker:So enough about the challenges and about the illusions and misconceptions.
Speaker:Let's talk about how you can step into your highest power as an empath.
Speaker:Number one, your sensitivity is your superpower.
Speaker:Your sensitivity is your attunement to energy.
Speaker:Your attunement to energy is your attunement to the world of spirit.
Speaker:There is so much deep wisdom in that.
Speaker:The issue that many empaths experience is that they believe they have to become
Speaker:more detached or they have to harden, but you don't have to harden because
Speaker:hardening yourself is numbing out.
Speaker:You don't have to become like others who are numbed out.
Speaker:Instead, you need to refine your sensitivity.
Speaker:Being highly sensitive is fantastic.
Speaker:But it needs to be refined.
Speaker:How do you refine it?
Speaker:Not by becoming cold or detached.
Speaker:You refine it by harnessing your sensitivity to create
Speaker:true alignment in your life.
Speaker:Rather than going against it and being stuck in overgiving and having
Speaker:comp or and your compassion extending to a degree where you are trying
Speaker:to avoid discomfort, you focus on how can I listen to this message of
Speaker:when I feel drained in this group, when I feel drained around this
Speaker:person, and how can I use this to create true alignment in my life?
Speaker:Rather than being stuck in it, rather than seeing it as a weakness, allow
Speaker:it to move you into conscious action where conscious action is necessary.
Speaker:What this essentially means is that discernment is the key.
Speaker:Give to those endlessly and boundlessly who can meet you in your depth, but stop
Speaker:giving your heart and pouring your soul into places, people, or whatever it is,
Speaker:where there is no reciprocity, where there is no balanced exchange of energy.
Speaker:Give yourself permission right now to remove your energy
Speaker:from these people and places.
Speaker:Many empires believe that makes them a cold-hearted arse asshole.
Speaker:But that is the opposite.
Speaker:You are actually becoming a person who steps even more into love because you
Speaker:are taking care of yourself and you are stepping into your highest power.
Speaker:And only when you are rooted in your highest power can you
Speaker:actually be truly dare for others.
Speaker:Give yourself permission to walk away if you have to.
Speaker:Being more empathetic is not always the answer as we have established today,
Speaker:sometimes the choice is letting go, specifically when you start to move
Speaker:from being stuck with your power to reclaiming your power as an empath.
Speaker:As an empath, it is extremely important, specifically in your intimate life to
Speaker:be with a person who understands the principle of true conscious relating.
Speaker:While you both have needs, while you both of course, want your needs
Speaker:met, and that is very important and necessary, both of you ideally need
Speaker:to be in a place where you are giving selflessly without expecting in return.
Speaker:Expecting in return specifically talking about viewing relationships
Speaker:as a transactional thing.
Speaker:I give you this so I get this back, but instead, you are both givers.
Speaker:And then no one is an over giver because both of you are giving and
Speaker:pouring and pouring and pouring.
Speaker:And it's so mutual.
Speaker:It's so reciprocal, and it's such a wonderful divine and healing
Speaker:energy that you experience.
Speaker:It creates so much safety and trust at the most fundamental
Speaker:level inside your being.
Speaker:This is what I personally experience.
Speaker:I'm an empath, or I'm highly empathetic, my wife is highly empathetic, and
Speaker:both of us ask ourselves, and this is the key thing I want you to
Speaker:write down, how can I love more?
Speaker:How can I give more?
Speaker:How can we experience more joy?
Speaker:How can we understand one another deeper?
Speaker:How can we feel each other deeper?
Speaker:But again, this only works, this practice in the right and in
Speaker:a safe relationship container.
Speaker:I applied this to dynamics that weren't conscious, and it
Speaker:caused a lot of pain in my life.
Speaker:The same happened for my wife, and now since we have found each
Speaker:other, we are able to love in the way we have always yearned to love.
Speaker:But make no mistake, my wife and I, we learned our lesson.
Speaker:We don't extend this kind of worldview beyond our sanctuary.
Speaker:Only to those friends who truly have the same level of love
Speaker:and the same level of empathy.
Speaker:But one needs to be very, very mindful of naively believing that others
Speaker:feel, think, and embody the same level of energy and consciousness.
Speaker:Think about it, all the mystic, all the healers and spiritual leaders
Speaker:who are truly rooted in their heart and who are truly coming from a
Speaker:genuine place, they all once face the challenge of their own sensitivity.
Speaker:They felt so deeply, but they learned to harness it, to fine tune it, and
Speaker:to turn it into something greater.
Speaker:Being insensitive means being disconnected from the world of
Speaker:spirit and from yourself, from the great source ultimately.
Speaker:Being sensitive.
Speaker:It's being sensible.
Speaker:It means being in your power.
Speaker:But you have to use it wisely by taking aligned action, walking away where you
Speaker:need to walk away, meeting people where they at their level of consciousness,
Speaker:rather than thinking everyone acts in the same way and embodies the same
Speaker:level of consciousness that you do.
Speaker:And just to make that clear, when I speak of higher and lower consciousness,
Speaker:this is not about better or worse.
Speaker:If there is any sense of I am better because I'm more conscious, that
Speaker:is all our own ego and shadow.
Speaker:Empathy brings with it a great sense of humbleness, because it is the polar
Speaker:opposite of, oh, I'm so conscious, I'm so empathetic, that is bullshit.
Speaker:And I believe some people, they like the label of an empath, but
Speaker:their empathy is still in a way, self-centered rather than truly genuine.
Speaker:Your deep feeling is your inner guidance, the voice
Speaker:or the whisper of your soul.
Speaker:Listen to it.
Speaker:Take action upon it, and the right path and people will
Speaker:start to align in your life.
Speaker:I believe in you.
Speaker:I believe in your ability to turn something that might have caused
Speaker:a lot of pain into your life.
Speaker:Into one of your greatest blessings because in truth, it is
Speaker:one of your greatest blessings.
Speaker:Thank you for listening to this episode.
Speaker:I'm so honored and grateful to guide you on your journey.
Speaker:It means the world to me.
Speaker:There's so many people, I think over eight or 9 billion people in
Speaker:this world, and you have landed here, I feel so honored that you've
Speaker:given me the incredible, incredible gift of your time, because your
Speaker:time is the most valuable asset.
Speaker:Time is something that cannot be given back, and that you've given
Speaker:me these 20, 30 minutes of your time, it means the world to me.
Speaker:I'm so honored to be part of your life.
Speaker:If you want to benefit from more free offerings, I invite you to check out
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