How NOT to Attract a Partner
When we’re desperate or we act as if something external is missing, we create the conditions for our relationships wounds to deepen. What we need is to create a reality where having a conscious partner is natural – and make this a spiritual practice.
If we focus on the external world rather than healing ourselves, we’re less likely to attract a conscious partner, and doing so is going to feel like far more effort.
Finding a conscious partner takes work, but it doesn’t have to be difficult. Listen to this episode to find out what – and what not – to do in your search.
Mentioned in this episode:
The Deep Polarity Program
An 8-week immersive journey to unlock the deepest intimacy through masculine & feminine dynamics.
Transcript
How do I attract an awakened man or woman into my life?
Speaker:A conscious partner?
Speaker:Is there a specific practice I need to be aware of?
Speaker:How does it really work?
Speaker:Do I first need to be clear about every single quality and trait I want
Speaker:in them, and then they will appear?
Speaker:Today I will demystify this topic, so you know what you can practically
Speaker:start doing right after this episode to consciously manifest an
Speaker:awakened partner into your life.
Speaker:Welcome to the Masculine and Feminine Dynamics podcast.
Speaker:My name is Loren Krenn and I'm a relationship coach.
Speaker:I help you to embody your awakened masculine and feminine
Speaker:in relationships and life.
Speaker:Let's dive in.
Speaker:Before we go deep into this topic, I need to emphasize the following.
Speaker:There is not one way to attract a conscious partner into your life.
Speaker:There are infinite ways.
Speaker:The universe is not black and white.
Speaker:What I'm going to focus on today is the most graceful way to attract or manifest
Speaker:a conscious partner into your life.
Speaker:Now, what this means is that many people who are on this path find
Speaker:themselves in this state of impatience, frustration, even desperation, until they
Speaker:manifest or meet their ideal partner.
Speaker:But here is the thing.
Speaker:This is not the most enjoyable and most graceful way to do this.
Speaker:Because at the end of the day, no matter whether they appear tomorrow, in two
Speaker:months or in five years, you want to make sure that you make the most of your life,
Speaker:of your current life right now, whether they're here with you or they are not.
Speaker:So this is what today's approach is going to focus on.
Speaker:The most graceful, and in my perspective, powerful way to attract
Speaker:a conscious partner into your life.
Speaker:Now, before I tell you how to attract them, And the practice, I want to
Speaker:start with how not to attract them, or maybe better to say how to do this.
Speaker:with the highest amount of suffering and pain on your path.
Speaker:There's a couple of things, well, several things that I need you to be aware of.
Speaker:Otherwise, this is going to be a journey of suffering.
Speaker:And the journey of attracting a conscious partner, from my perspective, is
Speaker:meant to be a journey filled with joy, filled with beauty, filled with love.
Speaker:Now, One of the biggest challenges that I see people having here is that
Speaker:There seems to be this perspective that when we attract our ideal partner,
Speaker:a conscious awakened partner, then everything is going to be perfect.
Speaker:And while they wonderfully amplify your life and add so much beauty
Speaker:and love and depth to your life, this is simply not the case.
Speaker:Simply because relationships are here to awaken us.
Speaker:They're not here to be only comfortable and to only soothe us.
Speaker:So it's very important that you really let this sink into your heart.
Speaker:Because no matter what level of consciousness you reach,
Speaker:there will always be challenges.
Speaker:Based on your level of consciousness, you will have specific challenges.
Speaker:Someone who is way more awakened than another will still have challenges.
Speaker:But these challenges will simply be at a different level of consciousness.
Speaker:That is how I like to explain it.
Speaker:Now, what this essentially means is that even if you do so much work and
Speaker:you, you heal so much and you meet this amazing person, of course, it's going
Speaker:to be beautiful, but it doesn't mean they're not going to be any challenges.
Speaker:And this can, people can have a rude awakening here because
Speaker:they suffer their way through manifesting a conscious partner.
Speaker:Because the truth is, there is no such thing as if you are in a state of
Speaker:negativity, you will never meet them.
Speaker:No, there is something much, much deeper at play here.
Speaker:This is not black and white.
Speaker:But then again, of course, the highest possibility of attracting
Speaker:them is when you are in your center, when you are in your power.
Speaker:Still, if there is any belief inside you that meeting them will take the worry
Speaker:and will take the pain or suffering or whatever you experience simply away,
Speaker:then you are in for a rude awakening.
Speaker:Because a conscious relationship amplifies what is already there.
Speaker:And if there is a lot of love and grace and healing energy within you,
Speaker:then the conscious relationship will amplify that and will deepen it.
Speaker:But if there is a lot of pain, unresolved wounding inside
Speaker:you, then you're in for a ride.
Speaker:Not to say that it's not going to work, it's possible, of course,
Speaker:you can heal together, but there is going to be an intensity.
Speaker:Because that too will become amplified, so it rises to the surface.
Speaker:So very important.
Speaker:Don't romanticize it.
Speaker:Don't look into the future, finally, when I meet them.
Speaker:Remember, you have challenges now, you will have challenges then.
Speaker:This is not to say that you should be pessimistic about it.
Speaker:Enjoy it.
Speaker:It will add so much beauty to your life.
Speaker:But don't forget.
Speaker:Freedom is here.
Speaker:Freedom is never in the future.
Speaker:And if you can't be free now, you can't be free later.
Speaker:Just remember this.
Speaker:Another thing, a challenge I see people having here, is because we live in a
Speaker:world of instant gratification, there can be this mindset or perspective
Speaker:that there is this one practice we do.
Speaker:in order to attract a conscious partner into our life.
Speaker:So we do this one thing and then it's going to happen.
Speaker:We do this one thing and then it's going to happen.
Speaker:And of course, that's not how it works.
Speaker:Because at the end of the day, this is the deepest spiritual work.
Speaker:There are so many factors contributing to that.
Speaker:Just because you in your mind think you need to now meet them is not
Speaker:going to mean that you will meet them.
Speaker:Yes, you are powerful beyond measure.
Speaker:You But every soul has a journey, has a soul's journey, and there is a time and
Speaker:space where you will be ready for them.
Speaker:And since you don't know that, it is very important to let go of ideas of, I need
Speaker:to do this and then they will come or maybe now, but to let that go entirely.
Speaker:Because here is what I always like to remind people of.
Speaker:Your heart has to undergo a journey.
Speaker:A journey of hardship.
Speaker:A journey of heartbreak, perhaps.
Speaker:Grief, mourning, pain.
Speaker:This is different for every person.
Speaker:Usually, but this is usually what happens.
Speaker:Until your heart is prepared and ready.
Speaker:for a conscious partner and let this sink into your being.
Speaker:Let me repeat, your heart has to undergo a journey of pain, heartbreak, mourning,
Speaker:grief, to be cracked open so strongly that through these cracks the light can enter,
Speaker:which signifies the spiritual journey, which signifies the heart being initiated
Speaker:and made ready, or you being made ready by the universe, by the higher intelligence
Speaker:to now actually build a thriving, deeply conscious and awakened relationship.
Speaker:And you in your mind are not able to say, well, now I'm ready.
Speaker:Because that's just a thought.
Speaker:That's just something in your mind.
Speaker:The universe decides.
Speaker:And when you can really let this sink in at an embodied level,
Speaker:then you take the pressure out.
Speaker:And this is key.
Speaker:Taking the pressure out of your journey of attracting your ideal partner.
Speaker:Instead of wanting it so badly right now, I invite you to shift your perspective,
Speaker:that to surrender to the journey.
Speaker:So, for instance you can say, I surrender to the journey my heart is
Speaker:meant to undergo before I meet them.
Speaker:And if you already listen to this you can feel deep breath here.
Speaker:Deep breath of relief, a deep breath of, Oh, you know, I can just drop
Speaker:in, ground and be patient, and be in my center, be in my power.
Speaker:I don't have to be anymore.
Speaker:I don't have to stress.
Speaker:I don't have to put so much pressure to any of this.
Speaker:Now, another thing I noticed what's happening, I mentioned it already briefly.
Speaker:is that wanting to attract a conscious partner comes from a place
Speaker:of frustration and desperation.
Speaker:We can also call this from a place of lack.
Speaker:And this is not to be confused with the basic human desire, one of the core
Speaker:desires, perhaps the strongest desire, the desire for connection, for intimacy.
Speaker:No desire is stronger than that.
Speaker:It is a basic human need.
Speaker:So when I say coming from a place of frustration, desperation, it's important
Speaker:that yes, there is a certain fragility.
Speaker:We all want deep intimacy, deep love, deeply.
Speaker:And it is okay to have this deep yearning, this deep desire within
Speaker:you, it's part of the journey.
Speaker:But when that leads into a sense of desperation and hopelessness
Speaker:and anxiety, then it's not just the basic desire for intimacy, then
Speaker:it has become part of the shadow.
Speaker:The shadow is kind of, or a wound is using this in order
Speaker:to further strengthen itself.
Speaker:But I'm not going to go too deep into that because that is not
Speaker:the topic of today's episode.
Speaker:What happens when we want it so badly to happen is that this will lead to a
Speaker:lot of pain, simply because it can very quickly lead us to not see, even though
Speaker:I don't like the word, but I will use it now for context and easy understanding,
Speaker:we will easily miss red flags.
Speaker:We will easily miss our intuition.
Speaker:Because we're not coming from a grounded and discerning place.
Speaker:We're coming from a place of haste.
Speaker:From a place of we want it so badly to happen.
Speaker:And our mind can really trick us easily and deceive us easily when we are in
Speaker:this haste, when we are in this, Ah, it needs to work, it needs to work,
Speaker:because we're not grounded, we're not in our center, we're not open to the
Speaker:guidance of the universe, to the higher intelligence, to our deepest intuition.
Speaker:And then we miss things.
Speaker:And then we end up perhaps in a trauma bond Or we are with
Speaker:someone who is actually not at all what we want to experience.
Speaker:And we experience suffering.
Speaker:Still, if it happens, it happens.
Speaker:Please don't beat yourself up.
Speaker:But if you approach this from a more grounded and centered place, rather
Speaker:from this haste and frustration, then chances are high that it's going to
Speaker:be easier for you to be discerning, to be aware of your deepest intuition,
Speaker:to see whether this person is truly right for you, or they are not.
Speaker:And this is one of the, or the most important thing to become aware of.
Speaker:It can also lead us to the idea of twin flame concepts.
Speaker:Nothing, not that there is no truth in it.
Speaker:I call it sacred union.
Speaker:I personally don't like the word twin flame, but maybe that's only because Their
Speaker:associations with it is just there's so much superficial, let's call it nonsense,
Speaker:being shared about it, which is not rooted in the sacred, but not that there is
Speaker:anything wrong with it and that there's no truth to sacred union and twin flame
Speaker:and, and, having a divine counterpart in this life with whom your soul is meant
Speaker:to connect and together you reach the highest level and you evolve together.
Speaker:But it can quickly lead us to romanticize such things.
Speaker:It can quickly lead us to see these things, perhaps interpret it in the way
Speaker:we want it because we want it so badly.
Speaker:So quintessences, it can just lead us to oversee red flags and to interpret things
Speaker:into something that might not be there.
Speaker:Now, another challenge is the whole mindset, and this is really crucial.
Speaker:I invite you to really, really listen carefully here.
Speaker:It's this kind of idea, What am I doing wrong?
Speaker:Self shaming, beating yourself up.
Speaker:Why haven't I attracted them already?
Speaker:What is wrong with me?
Speaker:Why is this not working?
Speaker:The moment you approach it from this mindset, then you are in
Speaker:for a vicious cycle of suffering.
Speaker:Because now I can guarantee you that every intimate partner you attract,
Speaker:where it doesn't work out, becomes further proof of your failure.
Speaker:Of you not being good enough.
Speaker:This is a topic for a whole other episode, but the unworthiness
Speaker:wound is deep within us all.
Speaker:And this is a way how we can amazingly continue to feel completely unworthy.
Speaker:You see, it didn't work out.
Speaker:I'm so bad.
Speaker:I didn't make it work.
Speaker:But if every encounter that doesn't work out in the sense of is the perfect
Speaker:ideal partner, you are going to have a lot of evidence how unworthy you are.
Speaker:Because once again, you don't know in your mind, only the highest
Speaker:intelligent knows, the journey your heart is meant to undergo.
Speaker:So instead of seeing it as a sign of failure Surrender to the journey.
Speaker:This doesn't mean become don't become aware of the lessons, but
Speaker:surrender to the journey Because that changes completely your your your
Speaker:energy and your mindset towards it.
Speaker:I mean if every time it doesn't work out you beat yourself up you shame
Speaker:yourself, then it's just going to be a very, very painful journey.
Speaker:Not that with this you can't attract them, because again, it's not black and white.
Speaker:There is not only one way, but it's going to be harder.
Speaker:It's going to be definitely, if not harder, much more painful.
Speaker:Now, having said all of this, let's now go into what can you start doing
Speaker:right now to consciously manifest an awakened part into your life?
Speaker:And also by doing this, again, you cannot cheat the universe.
Speaker:Your heart is meant to go for a journey, your soul, but this is definitely
Speaker:opening yourself to the highest or infinite possibilities to, to be
Speaker:ready for them to enter your life.
Speaker:Now, the first thing I already mentioned briefly, and that is every time something
Speaker:doesn't work out, look for the lesson.
Speaker:Look for the blessing.
Speaker:Look what this is teaching you.
Speaker:Because it's vital in the preparation for you once they appear.
Speaker:Look at the upheaval, the pain or whatever that has triggered within you.
Speaker:Look at it so carefully, so deeply, reflect about what was happening.
Speaker:What threw you out of your center?
Speaker:Where were you pleasing?
Speaker:Where were you playing the victim?
Speaker:Where were you codependent?
Speaker:Where were you controlling?
Speaker:Look at your part.
Speaker:Learn from this.
Speaker:Learn from it.
Speaker:Because the more you focus your energy on learning the lessons you are meant
Speaker:to learn for your heart and soul to be ready, then you will naturally much
Speaker:quicker attract them into your life.
Speaker:Focus your energy on the inner healing that is naturally being exposed and
Speaker:pointed out through anything you need to go through in order to be made ready
Speaker:for this, for this path of sacred union.
Speaker:Now, let's get even more practical.
Speaker:And just before I share this practice with you, of course,
Speaker:this goes way deeper than that.
Speaker:I cannot possibly all cover this in an episode.
Speaker:That's why if you want to go deeper into this, I recommend my Awakened
Speaker:Masculine or Awakened Feminine program.
Speaker:But here is one extremely powerful practice, and that is to turn attracting
Speaker:a conscious partner into your life into a practice rather than a one time thing.
Speaker:Turn it into a spiritual practice.
Speaker:And what is this spiritual practice?
Speaker:It essentially is that you create an inner and outer reality where a conscious man
Speaker:or woman entering your life is a natural byproduct of the reality you have created.
Speaker:Let me repeat, the spiritual practice of attracting a conscious partner is to
Speaker:create an inner reality and outer reality where a conscious man or woman entering
Speaker:your life is a natural byproduct of the reality and life that you have created.
Speaker:Something that complements your life rather than gives it its meaning.
Speaker:Let this sink in.
Speaker:When you want to attract a conscious partner and they are the meaning
Speaker:of your life, that comes from an energy which is just not the most
Speaker:powerful way to manifest from.
Speaker:But if they are a complement to the already amazing, abundant, beautiful
Speaker:inner and outer reality you have created, then how beautiful is that?
Speaker:And this is the most powerful energy, intention to attract and manifest from.
Speaker:Now, you want to make sure that there is already deep meaning in
Speaker:your life, um, before you attract a conscious partner, because at the end
Speaker:of the day, a conscious relationship always amplifies what is there.
Speaker:And if there is a lack of meaning, then they will amplify that within you.
Speaker:So I invite you here to shift your mindset from why are they not here yet or what
Speaker:am I doing wrong to asking yourself an extremely potent and powerful question.
Speaker:How can I create a life where a conscious partner showing up is inevitable?
Speaker:Let this sink in because this opens you to, into the field
Speaker:of infinite possibilities.
Speaker:This allows you to connect with higher intelligence, with infinite intelligence.
Speaker:And this completely shifts the energy from which you are attracting.
Speaker:You are now manifesting from a place of openness, from a place
Speaker:of love, curiosity, your deepest inner being, rather than a place of
Speaker:lack, a place of fear and wounding.
Speaker:The more you trust and surrender to the journey your heart is meant to
Speaker:undergo, in order to be ready for a conscious partner, the more at peace
Speaker:and in harmony you are with life.
Speaker:This in turn naturally raises your vibration and frequency, which means as
Speaker:you are embodying your truth, you are much more likely to draw them into your path.
Speaker:Which leads us to another important thing.
Speaker:And of course, this one I cannot cover in its entirety.
Speaker:I will only briefly touch upon it.
Speaker:But you embodying, whether your core is feminine or masculine, you
Speaker:embodying your true nature, your truth.
Speaker:That is what's going to call them into your field like nothing else.
Speaker:In order to learn all about this, the practices, and really, really in the most
Speaker:powerful way, I invite you to take a look at my Awakened Masculine as a man or as
Speaker:a woman at my Awakened Feminine program.
Speaker:You can read more about it on my website, lorinkrenn.com, or
Speaker:by clicking on the show notes.
Speaker:Now, the quintessence to conclude here, the most graceful and powerful
Speaker:way to attract a conscious partner into your life, is by turning this
Speaker:into a spiritual everyday practice.
Speaker:The practice of creating an inner and outer reality where
Speaker:them showing up is inevitable.
Speaker:This in turn shifts your energy, the place from which you are attracting.
Speaker:Now you are manifesting from your center of power and now there is the highest
Speaker:chance of them entering your life.
Speaker:And even if they don't enter your life for the next following years, and let's say in
Speaker:three, four years, they enter your life.
Speaker:You have lived in the most powerful, meaningful, purposeful,
Speaker:and abundant way possible.
Speaker:You have created a deep sanctuary and they complement to the
Speaker:sanctuary that you have created.
Speaker:Thank you so much for listening to this episode.
Speaker:I'm so honored to have you here.
Speaker:I invite you to join my free newsletter, which you can find in the show notes or
Speaker:by visiting lorinkrenn.com/newsletters to receive in depth, powerful emails
Speaker:every single Friday in your inbox, each one covering a specific theme, personal
Speaker:stories of my life, deepest reflections of my journal, really emails that allow
Speaker:you to take your intimate life and in your spiritual journey to go to a higher level.
Speaker:Now, if you have enjoyed this episode, if you have gained deep value from
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Speaker:Once again, thank you for being here.
Speaker:The fact that you have listened to the end means that you
Speaker:take your journey seriously.
Speaker:It means that you have prioritized your awakening.
Speaker:And when this is your biggest desire to awaken, then everything is possible.
